Boner Candidate #1: DUDE! GEORGE WASHINGTON IS BUFF!
Glenn Beck unveiled “George AI,” a homegrown artificial intelligence with a hyper-muscular George Washington avatar, and interviewed it about modern American problems, unsettling many viewers. Beck said the system analyzes legislation through the lens of the Founding Fathers, and its responses, focused on moral decline rather than political or economic issues, closely echoed Beck’s own long-stated views. Critics noted the exchange amounted to Beck having a conversation with himself, leaving audiences largely unimpressed and uncomfortable.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #2: EATING WITH A CHINESE APPARANTLY GIVES MISS FINLAND A HEADACHE
Finland is facing international backlash after Miss Finland 2025 representative Sarah Dzafce was photographed pulling the corners of her eyes in an image widely condemned as racist, prompting accusations from several Asian countries. The controversy intensified after Dzafce lost her crown, despite her apology and claim that the photo was misunderstood, and after far-right Finnish politicians posted similar images in her defense. The Miss Finland Organization revoked her title, stating the incident caused deep harm domestically and abroad and reaffirming that racism is unacceptable. As the furor spread across Asia, Prime Minister Petteri Orpo issued formal apologies, while concerns from governments like Japan’s have raised fears of tourism boycotts and economic fallout for Finland.
Boner Candidate #3: SHE DEFRAUDED THE GOV. OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. YOU’D THINK SHE COULD AFFORD TO BUY A CAR.
A Florida woman was arrested after driving a stolen U-Haul van to the federal courthouse where she was scheduled to stand trial for allegedly helping defraud $29 million from COVID-relief programs. Latoya Clark, 39, was pulled over after a license plate reader flagged the vehicle as stolen, and she acknowledged she was heading to court for her federal case. The arrest caused her to miss court, led to new felony charges, and prompted a judge to revoke her bond in the ongoing fraud and money-laundering case.
