Round One
Boner Candidate #1: WHY DOESN’T SENATOR McCAIN SPEAK UP?
Donald Trump campaign aide Katrina Pierson appeared to slam the late Sen. John McCain in a tweet on Thursday for failing to answer questions on the Christopher Steele dossier concerning Trump and Russia. McCain died Aug. 25. Pierson, who describes herself as a “senior adviser” for Trump’s 2020 campaign and who worked on his 2016 campaign, tweeted that McCain “Still Refuses to Answer Questions About His Role” concerning the dossier, which was compiled by the former British spy and included unverified accusations. Trump supporters insist the dossier is the only reason an investigation was launched into Trump’s connections with Russia. Pierson’s tweet included a link to one of her 2017 blog posts and its headline.
Boner Candidate #2: I’M TELLING YOU THE DEVIL MAD ME DO IT. THE DEVIL AND A HIT OR TWO OF DAB.
PLEASANT GROVE, Utah — Police arrested a man Tuesday after he intentionally rammed a school bus with 20 children on it, then forced the driver of another car to take him to an LDS temple.
Police arrested 40-year-old Brant Diediker and booked him into jail on 29 charges, most of which involved aggravated assault. The bus driver told police, according to a probable cause statement, that Diediker had rammed the bus twice from the rear within a three-block period before the final collision. None of the children aboard were harmed.
Boner Candidate #3: NEED A RIDE. SURE HOP IN. I HOPE YOU’RE GOING TO THE COUNTY JAIL
GREENUP, Ky. — A jail inmate who escaped from authorities and tried hitchhiking along a highway didn’t enjoy freedom for long because the motorist he flagged down was a law enforcement officer.Greenup County Jailer Mike Worthington told The Independent that 31-year-old Allen Lewis was being transported on Tuesday to face charges in another county when he told the officer his handcuffs were too tight. The officer pulled over and Worthington said after one handcuff was released, the two struggled and Lewis got free.
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Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: THEY STOLE THE WHOLE HOUSE
St. Louis, MO — Police in Missouri helped return a St. Louis woman’s stolen tiny house Wednesday after it was found about 30 miles away.
Meghan Panu first reported the small home on wheels missing in an Instagram post on Saturday after she spent several years constructing the home on a 20-foot-long and 8-foot-wide trailer as part of her senior thesis at Webster University
Boner Candidate #2: IF IS SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE BIG FOOT, I SHOOT IT
Helena, MT — Just your everyday sheriff’s message: “It is of great concern that this individual might think it’s OK to shoot at anything he thinks is Bigfoot.” The warning comes out of Montana, from Lewis and Clark County Sheriff Leo Dutton, reports McClatchy. A 27-year-old man told deputies that he was putting up targets in the woods for shooting practice on Sunday when a man in a black Ford F-150 started firing at him and nearly hit him. When the would-be victim emerged to confront the shooter, he says the shooter offered this explanation: “I thought you were Bigfoot, (and) if I see something that looks like Bigfoot, I just shoot at it.”
Boner Candidate #3: I LEFT THEM WATCHING A VIDEO ABOUT HOW TO PROTECT THEMSELVES.
Muncie, IN — Police in Muncie say they found a 7-year-old boy and his 4-year-old brother watching “Home Alone” while their mother was away at work.
Police say they received an anonymous call on Tuesday saying that two young children were left alone at a home in the 1800 block of South Franklin Street.
When police arrived at the home they found the boys watching the movie “Home Alone,” a 1990’s film where a young boy’s family leaves for Christmas vacation and accidentally forgets him.
Police contacted the boys’ mother at work and she told them she couldn’t find a babysitter so she told the oldest son to stay home from school so he could watch his younger sibling.
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