Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates for February 19 2016

Boner Candidate #1: YOU NEED MORE THAN ONE BABY TO GET THAT MANY BIG MACS

A three month old baby has been reunited with her parents after being kidnapped by a man at Riverfront Park in Little Rock, Arkansas. There are not many details on how the man acquired the baby at the park. However, it’s what he did with the baby after he kidnapped her that has the community shocked. According to employees at McDonald’s, a heavyset man, 45 year old Henry Osterman, entered the restaurant on Monday around 2:30 PM with a baby wrapped in a blanket. He seemed a bit nervous, and told the employee at the cash register that he had the munchies as he ordered 15 Big Macs. According to reports, when the cashier gave him his total, he handed over the baby to her. “I look to him and said ‘Whatcu think I’m gonna do with that,’” said Chandra Wilkins head cashier at the Little Rock McDonald’s. “He told me he didn’t have any money but I could take the baby. I said ‘Fool you need to back the f*ck up’. Then that’s when he threw the baby at me, ran behind the cash registers and grabbed every burger on the food warmer. That white man was crazy.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I DON’T REMEMBER WHERE I WAS TAKING HIM.

A Virginia woman was charged with murder after her son’s remains were found in her car more than 10 years after he was last seen alive, according to documents revealed Tuesday. Tonya Slaton, of Richmond, was indicted Feb. 1 in Hampton Circuit Court on a charge of second-degree murder in the death of her son, Quincy Jamar Davis, according to the indictment. The document alleges that Slaton killed Davis between July 24, 2004 and July 24, 2005. The Virginian-Pilot reported that Davis would’ve been 14 or 15 years old at the time of his death. Davis’ remains were found in June in Slaton’s car when she was driving on Interstate 64. Slaton was pulled over by a Virginia State Trooper conducting a traffic stop when he noticed a strong odor coming from her car. Davis’ body was found in the back of her Ford Mustang, according to the paper. The cause of death has still yet to be determined. Davis was never reported missing.

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Boner Candidate #3: DOLPHIN KILLERS

A mob of beachgoers desperate to take photos with two small dolphins killed at least one of the animals on a beach in Buenos Aires last week. “This is more than upsetting,” Lori Marino, executive director of The Kimmela Center for Animal Advocacy, told The Huffington Post in an email. “It is an indictment of how our species treats other animals — as objects for our benefit, as props, as things with value only in relation to us. This is a terribly painful story but it goes on, writ large, every day all over the world.” Marino identified the dolphin seen being passed around in now-infamous images as an infant. Disturbing footage reportedly from the same incident shows someone pulling a dolphin out of the water and placing it on land as people crowd around.

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