Boner Candidate #1: THE DANGEROUS BUTT PINCHER
Breana Evans, a 12-year-old girl and middle school student from Seminole County, Florida, was suspended from Milwee Middle School and arrested on battery charges for pinching a passing boy’s butt in the hallway between classes earlier this week. Although the butt-pinching incident happened about two weeks ago, according to WKMG News in Orlando, the victim’s mother pressed charges that resulted in Breana’s arrest. She told WFTV Channel 9 that she saw it as a joke that a lot of other kids at her school play, but it quickly became serious when she was put in the back of a squad car and taken to a juvenile justice center to be fingerprinted. The victim whose butt Breana pinched was reportedly not injured. To avoid a possible increased charge from battery to a sex crime, Breana’s dad, Ray Evans,enrolled her in a 90-day juvenile diversion program that involves classes, drug testing, and community service. “If I don’t do the community service, I might be known as a sex offender when I’m 18, so, like, it’ll mess up my world to be honest,” Breana told WFTV. Upon successful completion of the program, the battery charges should be removed from her record. “Lord lord lordy what has this world come to,” Ray Evans told WKMG. “Kids can’t even be a kid and that’s basically what it is — she’s 12 years old she was acting like a 12-year-old child.”
Boner Candidate #2: WE WERE KEEPING THE TIGER WARM
Brown City animal sanctuary facing censure from PETA and federal regulators received another round of violations in a February USDA report. The February inspection report cites the facility for inadequate veterinary care and enclosures, noting a 25-week-old tiger named Daisy was being held in the basement of a home. “Daisy has a dull coat lacking the normal sheen that you would expect in a healthy, actively growing tiger,” the report reads. “There could be several causes for this dull coat appearance including: indoor housing, internal parasite infestation and poor nutrition.” Chuck Vanneste, chief executive officer for Summer Wind Farms Sanctuary, said the tiger was being kept inside to keep it out of the cold. “You’re talking about a cub that needs warmth and needs care,” Vanneste said. He said Daisy’s previous owners gave the tiger up after it had outgrown its use. Otherwise, the jungle cat would have been euthanized. “This cat was used for picture taking,” Vanneste said. “We had to rescue it or it would have been put down.”
Boner Candidate #3: I WILL HAVE THAT BMW
Authorities in Florida have arrested a man they say stole a BMW after trying to buy it with a food stamp debit card. The Martin County Sheriff’s Office tells news outlets in a statement that 36-year-old Nicholas Jackson was arrested Friday and charged with grand theft auto. Deputies say Jackson was turned away at the Pompano Beach auto dealership after trying to buy the $60,000 car using his EBT card and a credit card. However, deputies say the suspect returned the next night and stole the car along with keys from 60 other vehicles. Deputies say they later found Jackson with the car and the keys after he ran out of gas, because he didn’t have money to fill the tank. It isn’t immediately clear whether he has an attorney.
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