ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: DISHONEST AND STUPID
As lawmakers in Washington and allies around the world grappled with President Trump’s decision to launch a strike that killed Iran’s most important general, an Arizona Republican, Representative Paul Gosar, shared a fake image from his personal Twitter account on Monday purporting to show President Barack Obama shaking hands with President Hassan Rouhani of Iran. The two men have never met in person. What’s more, Mr. Rouhani is still the president, contradicting Mr. Gosar’s suggestion that he is no longer “in power.” The Iranian flag in the background of the photoshopped image also appears to be incorrect, as it is missing the white Arabic script on its top green bar and a red emblem of a tulip in the central white bar. The original photograph was taken in 2011 and showed Mr. Obama meeting with Manmohan Singh, then India’s prime minister. “No one said this wasn’t photoshopped. No one said the president of Iran was dead. No one said Obama met with Rouhani in person,” Mr. Gosar tweeted after an outcry over his post, arguing that his point was that “Obama coddled, appeased, nurtured and protected the worlds No. 1 sponsor of terror.” Read More
Boner Candidate #2: THIS PLACE IS LOUSY WITH BEDBUGS
Edinboro, PA — Walmart managers may not be sleeping tight tonight: Somebody released live bedbugs in a Pennsylvania store and police are now investigating. State police say they were contacted by the manager of the Edinboro store Thursday after staff members found a pill bottle in a boy’s jacket with live bedbugs inside, the Erie Times-News reports. Another bottle, this one with dead bugs inside, was found on the floor in the men’s department near the belts, police say. Health safety company Ecolab confirmed that the insects were bedbugs. An Ecolab employee inspecting the store Friday found bedbugs crawling around the men’s changing rooms. “We take this seriously and are looking into this,” a Walmart spokesperson tells CNN. “We are fully cooperating with law enforcement on their investigation.” Police say they are looking for whoever released the bloodsucking insects in the store. “A third-party pest management service has visited the store and we are working with them to assess next steps,” the Walmart spokesperson says. “In the meantime, we have blocked off the impacted area.” (Last year, a courthouse was temporarily closed after bedbugs were seen falling from an attorney’s clothing.) Read More
Boner Candidate #3: ROD STEWART RUFFIAN
Singer Rod Stewart has been charged with simple battery after punching a security guard at the Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida, on New Year’s Eve, police say. Stewart, 74, told police he and his family were trying to get the children in their group access to a private event at the hotel, according to a Palm Beach Police Department probable cause affidavit obtained by CNN affiliate WPTV. The security guard working the event in the children’s area said Stewart’s group was unauthorized to enter and asked them to leave after they “began to get loud and cause a scene,” the affidavit states. Stewart’s son, Sean Stewart, then “got about ‘nose to nose’ distance” from the security guard’s face, police said. The security guard placed his hand on Sean Stewart’s chest and asked him to give him space when Sean Stewart shoved him backward. Rod Stewart then punched the security guard in his left ribcage area, police said. Footage from cameras at the hotel revealed that Sean and Rod Stewart were the “primary aggressors,” according to the affidavit. Read More
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ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THE JELLO SHOTS WERE MELTING
Pinealls County, FL — A Florida woman was arrested and charged with DUI early on New Year’s Day after Florida Highway Patrol troopers say she was caught driving 107 mph down a Pinellas County interstate. Troopers say they stopped 22-year-old April Moyer, of Holiday, just after 1:30 a.m. on Jan. 1 as she sped north on I-275. An arrest report says she was driving 107 mph in a 65 mph zone at the time. When troopers pulled her over, they say they noticed Moyer showed signs indicating she was under the influence of alcohol. The arrest report says she had poor balance, bloodshot and glassy eyes and performed poorly on field sobriety tests. According to the FHP, Moyer said she was coming from St. Pete and admitted she believed she was driving about 80 mph. Troopers say she also rated herself a “1 or 2” on a 1 to 10 scale of impairment. The arrest report says troopers found Jello shots and beer in Moyer’s trunk, as well as an open container of Tito’s vodka inside the vehicle. Moyer was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of driving under the influence. Online jail records show she was released on her own recognizance. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: OUT OF THE CAR!
A father and son have been arrested after police say they used an emergency siren to order people out of their vehicles. Source: Cherokee County SO WOODSTOCK, Ga. (WGCL) — A father and son have been arrested after police say they used an emergency siren to order people out of their vehicles. Ryan Schmidt, 51, and Luke Schmidt, 17, are accused of driving through the Woodstock area around 11 a.m. Saturday morning with an emergency siren and loudspeaker, instructing people to get out of their vehicles. Police caught up with the duo at the Towne Lake shopping center area. Ryan Schmidt explained that he had recently purchased the siren and PA and was showing it off to his son and friends in the vehicle. There were three additional passengers in the vehicle.
Luke Schmidt was arrested and charged with the use of an emergency siren and aggressive driving. Ryan Schmidt was arrested and charged with use of an emergency siren and party to the crime/aggressive driving. Both were released on $2,035 bonds. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: KNOCK IT OFF
(CNN) — Police in St. Louis, Missouri, are investigating vandalism at the Soldiers Memorial, which was spray-painted with anti-war graffiti over the weekend. The vandal or vandals used red paint to write “No War” on exterior walls of the building, a police department spokeswoman told CNN. Security guards discovered the graffiti on Sunday morning and reported it to police. A photographer for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, which is a CNN affiliate, saw graffiti on four walls of the art deco building, which opened in 1938 to honor veterans of World War I. The memorial reopened in 2018 after a two-year, $30 million renovation. The incident comes as thousands of troops are being deployed to the Middle East following the death of Iranian Gen. Qasem Soleimani, who was killed last week by a US airstrike in Iraq. Protesters marched in downtown St. Louis on Saturday afternoon to show their opposition to war with Iran. The memorial is operated by the Missouri Historical Society and includes a museum that features exhibits about local military members, veterans and their families. Read More
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