Boners

Boner Candidates January 25, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: YES PLEASE…MORE GUNS IN PUBLIC.

A 29-year-old man suspected of shooting a woman inside a Renton theater Thursday night told detectives he brought the gun to the movie fearing a mass shooting. The incident happened at The Landing in Renton during a showing of the film “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.” It is the action-packed movie of the terrorist raid on the U.S. Embassy. About 15 minutes into the movie, a gun went off and a 40-year-old Michelle Mallari had been shot through the back of her chair. “I believe the lady in front of us that got shot was actually talking to her husband or significant other and that’s when we heard the loud pop,” said one witness, who did not want to be identified. He was sitting 3 or 4 rows behind the man when the gun went off. “It must have been a light bulb or the projector lens or something that loud, but I mean I’ve owned guns and that’s definitely a gunshot for me,” the witness added.

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Boner Candidate #2: RACISM IS ALIVE AND WELL

A suburban Phoenix school district is taking disciplinary action after a photo of students spelling out a racial slur with T-shirts showed up on social media. Tempe Union High School District spokeswoman Jill Hanks said Friday that the discipline process remains ongoing but six girls will be punished in accordance with district policies. Hanks says Desert Vista High School students were wearing shirts to spell out “BEST(asterisk)YOU’VE(asterisk)EVER(asterisk)SEEN(asterisk)CLASS(asterisk)OF(asterisk)2016” for a senior class yearbook photo. She says the girls in the photo went off on their own and used their shirts to spell out a racial slur, “n—–.” Hanks says officials are “absolutely outraged and disappointed” and the students’ actions do not represent the student body. The students did not immediately respond to requests for comment made through social media accounts. Phoenix-area civil rights activist the Rev. Jarrett Maupin says he and other activists plan to meet Monday with the district’s superintendent.“The racist images and discriminatory behavior created and exhibited by Desert Vista high school students is shocking, outrageous, and should give everyone cause for concern,” Maupin said.

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Boner Candidate #3: TRUMP CLAIMS HE COULD SHOOT SOMEONE AND NOT LOSE VOTERS

Donald Trump suggested he could shoot someone in a crowded area and still keep voters, speaking at a rally in Iowa Saturday. Multiple reporters, including ones from CNN and CBS, quickly picked up Trump’s remarks. “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue, shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters,” Trump said. The Trump campaign could not immediately be reached for comment. The specter of violence at a Trump rally is hardly new. At a November rally in Alabama, at least six white attendees punched and kicked a black protester, CNN reported. Less than a month later, at a rally in Las Vegas, multiple protesters were escorted from the audience as a cacophony of Trump supporters shouted out phrases including “He’s a Muslim,” “Sieg heil” and “Light the motherfucker on fire,” according to NBC News.

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