Alt. Rock News

Boner Candidates for February 11th 2015

Boner Candidate #1 – “Gay Guys Don’t Burp!”

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Photo Courtesy of National Automobile Dealers Association

Just one day after Time announced his appointment as Jeb Bush’s Chief Technology Officer, Hipster.com co-founder Ethan Czahor resigned from the position over ugly comments about “sluts” and black parents.

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Boner Candidate #2 – Duck Killers!

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Photo Courtesy of Ken Slade

Ducks and geese at an Orem community pond are turning up dead. Residents first thought it was something in the water, but they’ve discovered it’s something they never thought would happen in their own backyards.

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Boner Candidate #3 – “Cops Say; We Like it When the Crooks Help Out”

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Photo Courtesy of James Duff

“We like it when dumb criminals assist us in our investigation,” Ambridge police Chief James Mann told the Beaver County Times, which first reported the arrest.

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