Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates November 10th, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: OH THE TRIBULATIONS THESE POOR PEOPLE HAVE HAD TO LONG ENDURE

An Oklahoma group that calls itself “Confederate Veterans Lives Matter” has said that it will file a discrimination complaint against the city of Tulsa after application to participate in the Veteran’s Day parade was rejected. Following South Carolina’s decision to remove the Confederate flag from the statehouse grounds, a group in Oklahoma formed “Confederate Veterans Lives Matter” and planned to use Tulsa’s Veterans Day Parade for their public debut. “Just a regular old float, have the Confederate flag up there like we have mounted on our trucks, and have some people on the float, and wave our flags and have some visibility,” Arlene Barnum told KOTV

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Boner Candidate #2: JUDGES ARE EXPECTED TO BE ECCENTRIC, ARENT THEY?

A disciplinary hearing began Monday for an Oregon judge who is accused of a variety of ethics violations that include screening marriage applicants to exclude same-sex couples. Marion County Circuit Court Judge Vance Day went before the Commission on Judicial Fitness and Disability for the start of a trial-like proceeding that is expected to last two weeks. Day is accused of breaking several rules from the Code of Judicial Conduct, including a requirement that judges “observe high standards of conduct” so their integrity and independence is preserved. Day has acknowledged that after gay marriage became legal in Oregon last year, he told his judicial clerk that any same-sex couples who wanted him to preside over their wedding should be referred to another judge. A few months later, Day stopped doing weddings altogether. He said he’s not aware of any gay couples who sought his services. Day is also accused of hanging a portrait of Adolf Hitler in the Salem courthouse, soliciting money from lawyers appearing before him, threatening a youth-sports referee, allowing a convicted felon to handle a gun, and lying to ethics investigators. Day, a former Oregon Republican Party chairman, has denied he violated judicial ethics rules, and said even if he did, the rules are unconstitutional. He said he’s being targeted because of his Christian beliefs.

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Boner Candidate #3: I WAS CELEBRATING MY AWARD

An officer in Florida turned up drunk to a ceremony last month where he was receiving an award for making over 100 DUI collars. Pinellas County deputy Michael Szeliga packed a bottle of Jamison Whiskey for a weekend-long statewide drunk-driving training program sponsored by Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Szeliga got the party started early, skipping out on the first day of training with two fellow officers, WFLA reported. By the time other officers were back at the training after the morning break, Szeliga was pouring drinks by the pool. Since he and the two officers were technically on duty at the time, both Florida taxpayers and the non-profit were paying for their poolside party.

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