Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates November 10th, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: COULDN’T YOU KEEP YOUR KNEES TOGETHER EH?

The council announced Monday it will review the behaviour of Robin Camp during a 2014 case he adjudicated while serving as an Alberta Provincial Court judge. The case involved the alleged rape of a 19-year-old woman by a Calgary man, whom she accused of sexually assaulting her over a bathroom sink during a house party.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: MAYBE THESE CANADIANS SHOULD JUST STOP POOPING

The St. Lawrence River, a beautiful waterway where newborn beluga calfs frolic every year, will soon be home to some new residents: heaps and heaps of untreated sewage. The country’s environment minister Catherine McKenna Monday approved Montreal’s plan to dump the discharge into the 114-mile river on Monday, according to theAssociated Press. McKenna said she is “less than ideal,” but nevertheless gave the giant shit-scrap project a big thumbs-up.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: OH THE TRIBULATIONS THESE POOR PEOPLE HAVE HAD TO LONG ENDURE

An Oklahoma group that calls itself “Confederate Veterans Lives Matter” has said that it will file a discrimination complaint against the city of Tulsa after application to participate in the Veteran’s Day parade was rejected.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: JUDGES ARE EXPECTED TO BE ECCENTRIC, ARENT THEY?

A disciplinary hearing began Monday for an Oregon judge who is accused of a variety of ethics violations that include screening marriage applicants to exclude same-sex couples.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: I WAS CELEBRATING MY AWARD

An officer in Florida turned up drunk to a ceremony last month where he was receiving an award for making over 100 DUI collars. Pinellas County deputy Michael Szeliga packed a bottle of Jamison Whiskey for a weekend-long statewide drunk-driving training program sponsored by Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: WELL, I GUESS HE SAVED THE COPS ANOTHER TRIP

After police knocked on the door of his Pennsylvania motel room, a murder suspect from North Carolina, thinking the jig was up, shot himself on Saturday afternoon. The police, however, were there to arrest someone else altogether.

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