ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: DID YOU GET THAT THING I SENT YA?
37 year old Tennessee woman Della Marie Gibson Lathum, reportedly mailed her husband’s ex wife blood stained tampons, and some feces. She did this to show the victim’s kids to ‘know the truth about the ex-wife.’
Boner Candidate #2: NOT THE WAY TO APOLOGIZE STEVE
Star of the popular show ‘ARROW’ Stephen Amell was removed after he got into a heated argument with his wife. Later, Stephen tweeted a half hearted apology about how he let his emotions get the better of him. He also stated: “I let my emotions get the better of me, end of story. Must be a slow news cycle.”
Boner Candidate #3: WE SHOULD ONLY BE TEACHING THINGS THAT ARE WHOLESOME AND OF GOOD REPORT
Critical Race Theory, or the fictional concept of school indorenate racism against white people, once again makes the headlines after Rep. Steve Christiansen targets Utah schools with a proposed bill to ban “divisive subjects.”
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: GEEZE, THANKS FOR THE LIFT
A woman hitch-hiking in a man’s car, stabbed him before he drove them both to a police station where she was arrested.
Boner Candidate #2: KEEPS YOUR HANDS INSIDE THE RIDE AT ALL TIMES
In pursuit of a wild cucumber, a woman jumped on and off the Living With the Land attraction at Epcot. The attraction is a relaxing boat ride through a greenhouse, which apparently includes vines that grow cucumbers.
Boner Candidate #3: STOP BEING MEAN TO ME… I’M THE PRESIDENT
In what could only be an Saturday Night Live skit, twice impeached in a single term Donald Trump ironically wanted his department of justice to prevent Saturday Night Live from making fun of him.
