Boners

Boner of the Day for May 4th, 2021

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: THE FACT OF A PADDLE BEING IN THE CLASSROOM AT ALL SHOULD TELL INVESTIGATORS ALL THEY NEED TO KNOW.

In an archaic form of punishment, a Florida principle is being criticized for paddling a 6 year old student after a video of the act went viral.

via The New York Times

Boner Candidate #2: MY BIRTHDAY MONEY, GONE JUST LIKE THAT.

During a woman’s birthday celebration her money-filled weather balloon floated away faster then she was able to catch it.

via Fox News

Boner Candidate #3: JUDGE MIKE LEE BY THE COMPANY HE KEEPS

Senator Mike Lee is preparing his 2022 re-election campaign by advertising a special event in Mar-a-Lago. The event will even include Rep. Matt Gaetz, and Rep. Lauren Boebert.

via KUTV

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE?

A man in Texas was arrested after he report a stolen vehicle. Except, he had purchased the car using someone else’s identity.

via Lake & McHenry County Scanner

Boner Candidate #2: THEY TRIED TO STEAL MY CHILDREN

A California Influencer fabricated a story in two Instagram posts, that claimed a Latino couple attempted to kidnap their children.

via People

Boner Candidate #3: THEY HAD SPECIAL NEEDS… AND THEY WERE FAT.

Galeton Colorado’s Triangle Cross Ranch assisted living center was shut down recently. According to authorities, the residents of the facility were being humiliated and abused. Residents would even search through the trash after having their food withheld from them.

via CBS Denver


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