ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: IT WAS HOT AND DARK AND IT HURT MY BACK
A daycare in Michigan had it’s license removed after a child placed another child inside of a clothes’ dryer and turning it on. All while under supervision.
Boner Candidate #2: TED HAS COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT HIS WIFE IS UGLY
Ted Cruz insulted Rep. Liz Cheney by suggesting that Donald Trump ‘broke’ her. She replied by saying that “A real man would be defending his wife, and his father, and the Constitution.”
Boner Candidate #3: BYU FANS NEED WAYS THEY CAN SWEAR.
BYU fans were recorded chanting the anti-Biden chant “Lets go Brandon” during a game.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: IT WAS A SOFT PRETZLE
Kelly Stafford is apologizing after throwing a pretzel at a fan during a football game between the Rams and 49ers.
Boner Candidate #2: THE CLOWN OF CONGRESS WANTS AN INTERN
Alleged sex trafficker, Matt Gaetz suggests that he wants Kyle Rittenhouse as a congressional intern.
Boner Candidate #3: I TOLD THEM IT WAS NOT NECESSARY TO THANK ME.
Idaho’s Bingham County Sheriff Craig Rowland is on leave after accusations that he pointed a handgun at LDS kids.
