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Boner Preview Candidates August 26, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1. IT JUST TAKES BALLS AND A PAINTER’S POLE

Stephen Ruth of Centereach, Long Island apparently got tired of getting tickets after trying to beat red lights at intersections with cameras affixed to them.So police said Ruth, 42, did something about it — and then bragged about it on Facebook. Ruth was in custody at the 6th Precinct in Selden Tuesday night, accused of four counts of criminal tampering, after police discovered his Facebook videos that were going viral on the web.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2. APPARENTLY DR. HEINY IS ACTUALLY A BREAST MAN

A Bedford Township orthopedic surgeon accused of fondling four female patients in his Ohio and Monroe County offices was arraigned this morning on felony charges.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3. BABA SAID THAT MONEY WAS FOR ME

His mom withheld a $5,000 gift that “Baba” promised for his bar mitzvah — but he manned up and finally scored his money eight years later. Long Island student Jordan Zeidman, 20, recorded the long-overdue legal victory over his mother when he sued her for his shekels and a judge ruled in his favor on Tuesday.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4. I NEED YOU TO POP THE LICE GUY

A Florida woman is accused of trying to hire a hitman to kill a man she claims gave her grandchildren lice.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5. DIRTY WORE

A Connecticut woman, convinced that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with one of her friends, allegedly keyed each of their cars and punctured their tires. Stamford Police say they established the motive for the crime after trying to make sense of the word “wore” scratched into the paint of the woman’s car and realizing that the culprit was just atrocious at spelling.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6. OH HOW FUNNY!

A Mexican restaurant in Denver is under fire after a customer says she got a receipt with an explicit and racist message.

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