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Boner Preview Candidates August 27th, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: MURDER ON THE COVER OF THE DAILY NEWS

The Aug. 27th front page of the New York Daily News, which displays the murder of two TV journalists in Virginia, was met with shock and condemnation on social media late Wednesday. Readers were particularly dismayed that the newspaper tabloid published the graphic images of the attack that were uploaded by the shooter.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: HE WILL DIE FOR THE RIGHT TO OPPOSE GAY MARRIAGE

A Kentucky county clerk who has been outspoken in his opposition to marriage equality now says he’ll “die” fighting to keep same-sex couples from tying the knot.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: THE ORIGINAL BOYS IN THE HOOD: RACISM IS FUNNY

An Alabama cheerleading squad has lost two of its coaches after a pair of racist T-shirts appeared at an August practice.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: I’M A UTAH COUNTY COMMISSIONER WHO’S READY TO GIVE IT ANY HOUR OF THE DAY BABY

Have you heard of the website Ashley Madison? According to its website “Ashley Madison is the online personals & dating destination for casual encounters, married dating, discreet encounters and extramarital affairs.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: APPARENTLY DR. HEINY IS ACTUALLY A BREAST MAN

A Bedford Township orthopedic surgeon accused of fondling four female patients in his Ohio and Monroe County offices was arraigned this morning on felony charges.

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Boner Candidate #6: BABA SAID THAT MONEY WAS FOR ME

His mom withheld a $5,000 gift that “Baba” promised for his bar mitzvah — but he manned up and finally scored his money eight years later.

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Boner Preview Candidate #7: DIRTY WORE

A Connecticut woman, convinced that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with one of her friends, allegedly keyed each of their cars and punctured their tires. Stamford Police say they established the motive for the crime after trying to make sense of the word “wore” scratched into the paint of the woman’s car and realizing that the culprit was just atrocious at spelling.

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