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Boner Preview Candidates for September 22, 2015

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Boner Preview Candidate #1: LEFT HANDED DEVIL BOY

A 4-year-old was allegedly forced by his teacher to write with his right hand, even though he’s left-handed. The child was sent home with a letter about how left-handedness is often associated with evil and the devil.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: MOVE THOSE CANCER KIDS OUTTA HERE

The head of the Secret Service apologized for how a group of children suffering from cancer and their families were treated after they said they were pushed out of Lafayette Square on Saturday night.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: DRINK YOURSELF SICK

A Wyoming couple tried to teach a 16-year-old boy a lesson about drinking by giving him alcohol. Terrible idea. He died of alcohol poisoning.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: HE KEPT TRYING TO MONKEY WITH THE MONKEY BARS

A man with a fetish for children’s playground equipment has been banned from going anywhere which has a slide.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: DRINK IT WHILE IT’S STILL SMOKING

A bar in England got slapped with a hefty fine equivalent to more than $156,000 after it took responsibility for serving a teen a shot of liquid nitrogen that nearly killed her, and caused her to have her stomach surgically removed.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: YOU ARE CHARGED WITH SEXUALLY EXPLOITING YOURSELF

A teenaged couple in North Carolina have been prosecuted for having nude photos of themselves and each other on their cell phones, the Guardian reports.

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