Boner Candidate #1: I’M IN GTA BRO!
A 19 year old Draper man is facing criminal charges for fleeing from police all well filming himself like he was in a video game. The young man was charged woht failing to respond to an officers’s signal to stop and obstruction, third- degree felonies; reckless endangerment, a class A misdemeanor; reckless driving, a class B misdemeanor; and using a phone while driving, a class C misdemeanor. This all took place on Feb. 20th when an officer tried to pull over the vehicle that had no license plate. According to thr charging documents they state “The sedan accelerated, and the officer then also turned on his siren. The sedan ran a red light, almost colliding with another vehicle, before proceeding at speeds up to 95 mph.” The officer who attempted to pull the car over stopped chasing for safety precautions. More than a month later poice recived a video of the chase. “In the video, the defendant is recording himself driving, while the vehicle can be heard accelerating, and talking about ‘cops’ chasing him. In the second video, the defendant is agian recording himself, saying, “I’m in GTA bro,’ and holding up a black handgun.”
Boner Candidate #2: I WANTED HIM TO ASK THAT QUESTION BECAUSE I’M A 14 YEAR OLD PUNK.
Jesse Watters fox news host is criticizing his colleague Bill Hemmer for failing to ask Butch Wilmore and Sunni Williams the astronauts if they hooked up while they were in space together. Greg Gutfeld stated “Did you see their body language? Oh, they hate each other. Can you blame them?” Than Jessica Tarlov added “They talked a lot about what their days looked like. She even said that he would Zoom into his Sunday church every week, so they kept some degree of regularity.” Thats when Watters started to weigh in “Hemmer’s a great interviewer, but he whiffed, the main question that everybody wanted asked was, did they hook up? And he just left it hanging out there. I hope there’s a part two to this interview, Hemmer, because next time I see you I’m going to slap you silly.” Even earlier this month Donald Trump also raised the possibility of the two falling in love despite both married to their respective partners. “I hope they like each other. Maybe they’ll love each other, I don’t know. But they’ve been left up there, think of it, And I see the woman with the wild hair. Good solid head of hair she’s got it. There’s no kidding, there’s no games with her hair.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: YOU AREN’T DOING THIS TO GET SOMETHING, YOU’RE DOING IT TO GIVE ME SOMETHING.
Paula White-Cain, who is a televangelist and spiritual advisor to President Donald Trump. She is now facing criticism for a video that in she claims “supernatural blessings” will be released for those who will donate to her ministry ahead of the Passover holiday. The video is titled “Passover Season: God’s Divine Appointment With You!” 58 year old White, claims that she is honoring God during the Passover, which begins on April 12th and sundown. White states “I believe that when you honor God on Passover starting April 12th at sundown through Good Friday on the 18th and concluding on Easter Sunday, you can receive these seven supernatural blessings for you and your house.” While White is citing Exodus 23, listing the blessings as “God will assign an aggel to you. He’ll be an enemy to your enemies. He’ll give you prosperity. He’ll take sickness away from you. He will give you long life. He’ll bring increase in inheritance, and give a special year of blessings.” Than proceded to say “You’re not doing this to get something, but you’re doing it in honor of God, realizing what you can receive for your special Passover offering of $1,000 or more as the Holy Spirit leads you.” She than said even if you pay her $125, donors are offered an “Olive wood communion set form the Holy land.”
