
Boner Candidate #1: JERKS HAVE RUINED MY BOWLING LEAGUE NIGHT
Valley Fair Mall in West Valley City had to shut off the main water line to the entire mall last Friday night as a toilet inside All-Star Bowling, was deliberately vandalize with its piping being ripped off causing water to shoot out of the wall with force. It was described as a “fire hose gone rogue”, and unfortunately caused damaged to the bowling alley, causing many employees to be sent home and closing of the building. Manager Lidia Hernandez was clocked out when this occurred and luckily happened to be there that night with family, enjoying a night off, when all this happened and had to spring into action. West Valley Police have started an investigation and are asking the public for any names or information.
Boner Candidate #2: MOBILE CUTTING, NO WAITING…WE COME TO YOU
A former doctor from the UK has been jailed for running an illegal mobile circumcision business. He would travel all around the UK performing non-therapeutic and unnecessary circumcisions on patients up to the age of 14. Siddiqui had used a rusty medical instrument with a “rusty, serrated” edge with other tools were not properly sterilized. As the court stated “the defendant would ‘cut corners’ and ’cause unnecessary pain, suffering, cruelty and risk.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: DO THEY KNOW THEY’RE LYING?
After the confirmation hearing of Pam Bondi- many state it was “exasperating experience for a great of many reasons”, Republicans claim that the Justice Department and FBI are targeting parents who spoke out at school board meetings. Which started and came from a controversy memo from 2021 that addressed threats or violence against school officials, not at parents protesting school polices. The Department of Justice claims they were responding to real security concerns, and not at silencing political dissent and states that Republicans distorted this to ush a false narrative of government overreach. House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jim Jordan- launched an investigation and ultimately found….nothing. Later, then conservative activists even filed a lawsuit related to the myth, which was thrown out of court for being too foolish.
