Boners

Boner of the Day for June 21st, 2024

Boner Candidate #1: HE BOUGHT A MASK AND THEN WENT ACROSS THE STREET TO ROB THE BANK.

Florida man, Colton Vanhonhenstein, was arrested for burglary after he allegedly tried to rob a bank. Vanhonhenstein was seen on security footage in a gas station buying a mask then he went across the street to the Wells Fargo, that was somehow left unlocked, and sifted through cabinets and drawers that were empty. Police were notified of a robbery in progress, but not for an hour. Vanhonhenstein was then arrested for burglary since nothing was taken. However, the whole incident is still under investigation. In particular, Rockjaw says their product is, “mastic is 10x harder than regular gum, results can be 10x faster and 10x better than chewing regular gum.”

via Fox 35

 

Boner Candidate #2: HEY GUYS WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO HAVE A STRONG, CHISELED JAW LINE? WELL, NOW YOU CAN IF YOU CHEW ‘ROCKJAW GUM.’

Due to cookies, social media and the internet have a way of catering to us by showing us things based off our demographics. Recently it has been seen that one strange product in particular has been popping up on the For You Page’s of young men. There are a few different companies, such as Jawliner and Rockjaw, that claim they make a chewing gum that can strengthen and define one’s jawline.

via Delish 

 

WINNER!

Boner Candidate #3: THE LEGISLATOR WAS EXERCISING HIS SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHT WHEN HE WAS FIRING HIS GUN AND CHASING A STRIPPER DOWN THE STREET.

Republican Michigan lawmaker Neil Friske was arrested after shots were fired and he was seen with a gun after chasing an dancer down the street spanning an argument, “As many of us know, Rep Friske is always exercising his Second Amendment right. We do not have any details, besides what the media sourced, oddly before anyone of us knew anything. It is highly suspect considering the timing of this situation,” said Friske’s campaign. Friske’s campaign believes this arrest has political motives along with strange posts on Friske’s social media talking about AI pornography. “I’m not going to cave to the pressure of special interest. I’m not afraid of the false accusations, like ‘Friske is for AI Porn’ when a bill denies THE PEOPLE their rights to properly defend themselves,” said Friske’s post.

via Daily Mail

 

 

 

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