“Hey you, Pull my finger…”
The holidays are coming up and no doubt you have an uncle (at least I do) whose idea of a solid family tradition is a good old round of Pull My Finger. For the uninitiated this game is simple: the instigator offers up an outstretched finger and the recipient is meant to pull said finger. When this occurs an flatulent event or trouser-cough (for those sensitive souls) occurs. The instigator gets a laugh and everyone else gets slightly nauseated.
There are some things you may not know about this game that’s as old as beans…
1. IT WORKS TOO GOOD IN SPACE
There’s no air in space, so pulling this trick in closed quarters could leave your floating toward Tataouine, but it does bring new meaning to, “The force is strong with this one.” Another issue, according to TheMarySue.com:
Intestinal bacteria form two gases, hydrogen (H2) and methane (CH4), that could constitute a fire hazard in a closed chamber. So H2 and CH4 pass from the anus but these gases are also transported by the blood to the lungs and removed to the atmosphere.
Silent, deadly. Loud, deadly. Beware.
2. IT’S NOT POLITE TO REFUSE
While it’s not in good taste, or smell, to offer a finger for pulling, it’s also rude to deny. Though holding in gas trying to pass won’t cause serious damage to your guts it’s uncomfortable and inevitable. According to Women’s Health, “as soon as you get distracted, the floodgates will probably open.” Think about it – when someone ask you to pull their finger, they are asking for…help?!? There can also be consequences for pushing a finger…
I could not stop laughing at this! #cyanide #and #hapiness #lmfao #explosm #wtf #lmao #pull #my #finger #cyanideandhappiness #pullmyfinger #friday #earlyweekend #fridaypost #fridayvideo A video posted by The Great Uri (@mr_towely) on
Which leads us to…
3. WOMEN CAN PLAY, TOO
Common knowledge is, “women don’t fart.” Many of you will find this to be false. What is true is women with dogs fart more and blame it on the dog or the food they’re feeding their dogs. Many men have been chillin’ on the couch with someone when their feet got cold and tried to snuggle them under their companion’s behind to find, suddenly, their feet warm up a little too fast. That being said, if she asks you to pull her finger, she’s probably into you.
4. IT’S HONEST
Whoever smelt it, dealt it. Nope! Pull My Finger is the most honest game there is. No blaming passers by. No picking a fight with your friend while you are trying to enjoy a lovely dinner at The Copper Onion. Certainly no trying to pass the blame on to others. There’s a puller and a pullee and that’s the way it should be.
OK @millitaylor and I have had our first stinker #scotcheggchallenge A photo posted by Danny (@foodurchin) on
5. SOME WOMEN EVEN FIND IT FUNNY.
But only if they know and love you and all of your flaws really, really well. Though sometimes they are just as sick as you are. Just watch the video below for proof!
6. IT CAN BE DEADLY
It’s true! Pull the wrong finger and it could be your last. Though it would have to be from a giant. According to Vice:
Fart gas is unbreathable air, and if you were able to fill a scuba tank with it by saving up your farts for a year, and then make someone breathe the resulting gas, they would die from lack of oxygen. That would be a step removed from killing someone with farts , though, and the puzzled detectives on the case might not even reach the conclusion that the gas was farts, unless they smelled it.
So though it’s not polite to refuse an extended digit, if someone looks a little bloated and tells you they just got back from the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, you should pass. No one should get hurt in a round of Pull My Finger. Though there was this case.
@maliathena got around to drawing this for me. #drawing#illustration#death#pullmyfinger A photo posted by McKenz (@wirble) on
7. THERE’S 14 ROUNDS IN A DAY
It’s said on average that we, as people, pass a drift 14 times per day on average. Don’t let a chance to play a round slip away.
8. YOU WANT TO
Face it, everyone loves a mystery. From Sue Grafton novels to Sherlock Holmes – we all know what will probably happen. We just don’t know what or how bad. Who will survive and who will live? Will the protagonist be changed permanently? Also, a game of “man vs. nature” is always the best as nature is truly the unpredictable dictator of all our lives. Embrace life.
A photo posted by Sandra Krpez (@sandikay73) on
9. IT’S FUNNY
Sure, it’s on the low-brow side of the funny bone, but fart jokes have stood the test of time. One that catches you off balance in an inappropriate venue can knock you out of self-deprecation, narcissism, self-absorption and other states of self-obsession. Next time your in the dentist’s chair all gassed up getting ready for Dr. Pain (I really had a dentist with that name) to fire up the pneumatic drill and got to toothtown, extend your finger and insist. The levity will be appreciated and no doubt you’ll get some extra novocaine and and ibuprofen for your recovery.
So there you have it. Something that never needed a list, a blog or a thought. But there it is. 9 reasons, or ways, to deal with Pull My Finger. If you won’t take it from me, take it from George.