Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates December 10th, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: YOU ARE ALL MURDERS

A  woman hurled anti-Islam slurs and then hot coffee at a group of Muslims after she saw them praying in a California park. Rasheed Albeshari said he and some friends had just finished their prayers Sunday afternoon at Lake Chabot in Alameda County when the woman confronted them,reported Arab American News. Albeshari recorded cell phone video of the woman’s rant, beginning when she accused the men of being terrorists who tortured Christians. “The people you tortured, they’re going to spend eternity in heaven,” says the woman, who was carrying a cup of coffee, a folded umbrella and a fanny pack. “You are very deceived by Satan. Your mind has been taken over — brainwashed — and you have nothing but hate, nothing but hate.”  A park ranger approaches at that point and asks the woman if her harangue of other park visitors is appropriate. “It is inappropriate, you’re right, for somebody to tape record me,” the woman says. Albeshari says the woman had insulted his god, and at that point she approaches him, hits the man with her umbrella and then tosses coffee in his face. His friends called police, and they are investigating the case as a possible hate crime. “She was saying ‘Allah is Satan and you are all murderers,’” Albeshari said later.

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Boner Candidate #2: OUR RACIST SUPREME COURT JUSTICE

Do black students matter to Justice Antonin Scalia? During oral arguments on Wednesday in Fisher v. University of Texas, acontentious affirmative action case, the conservative justice seemed to call their abilities into question. “There are those who contend that it does not benefit African-Americans to get them into the University of Texas, where they do not do well,” Scalia said, “as opposed to having them go to a less-advanced school … a slower-track school where they do well.” Scalia was engaging former U.S. Solicitor General Gregory Garre, who is now representing the University of Texas at Austin as the school defends its ongoing consideration of race as one of many factors in its admissions program. Pointing to a brief the court received before oral arguments, Scalia noted “most of the black scientists in this country don’t come from schools like the University of Texas.” Garre tried to interject, but the justice continued. “They come from lesser schools where they do not feel that … they’re being pushed ahead­­ in classes that are too fast for them,” Scalia said.

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Boner Candidate #3: SO THEY GOT THE POX, REALLY?

One in four of the children who attend a Brunswick school that calls for tolerance for vaccine dodgers has contracted chickenpox. At least 80 of the 320 pupils at Brunswick North West Primary in Melbourne’s north have become ill with the disease in the past fortnight. It is understood the illness spread through grade 6, before making its way through the lower levels to grade 2.  The Department of Health was first notified about the chickenpox cases on November 26. “There are no firm figures on the number of students who have contracted the illness since then, but we’ve been advised that over the period there has been an absentee rate of about 25 per cent on any given day,” a department spokesman said.

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