John Oliver Ruins Your New Year

Yes, New Year’s Eve will place you into one of three camps: standing in the cold or in a bar with loud people, at a house party with loud people, or family stuff. Some people don’t participate in any of this, so I am not counting them as people. If John Oliver’s rant is to be raised and saluted then you have to consider what a new year really is…a set-up for disappointment for most and a good effort on being better people for others.

This year I am heading to Park City where I will be two of the three types mentioned above and no doubt be searching for the Advil on the first, or I will slam a few Diet Cokes, head home just after midnight and re-watch all six episodes of “Dark Mirror” on Netflix again. Just kidding, I am totally going to rage with friends and talk one of my friends out of urinating in public.

And what resolutions will I set myself up to fall short of reaching this year? I am going to pay my god-damned Best Buy account off and then max it out again on a huge 4K TV. “House of Cards” returns in February in glorious 4k and I will be Secretary of State if I have to watch it in 1080 lines of resolution. That, or I will finally read “War and Peace.”

If I do the latter I’ll look forward to my 2016 resolution:

“Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women.” – L.T. “War and Peace”

Anyway, have a happy New Year and a strong constitution in 2015.

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