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Boner Candidates April 9, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: I NO LONGER NEED MY CABLE AND I’D LIKE TO CANCEL

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Image By Mr. TinDC

A fire destroyed a 66-year-old man’s house in St. Paul and everything in it, including the TVs, but his cable service? He couldn’t get it canceled, at first. Jimmy Ware lost all his possessions in the wind-whipped fire in St. Paul’s North End on April 1. Since then, his daughter said, she had been calling Comcast but was unable to cut off his service until Tuesday, when the company did so and issued an apology.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE WILL REQUIRE THAT WHICH WE OPPOSE

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Image By Richard Masoner

The National Rifle Association’s annual convention kicks off in Nashville this week, with 70,000 people expected to participate in the three-day gathering. Attendees can expect to find the usual NRA fare and exhibitors at the 350,000-square-foot Music City Center, but they shouldn’t expect to find functioning weapons. The Tennessean reports this week on the “multilevel security plan,” which includes an important safety measure: “All guns on the convention floor will be nonoperational, with the firing pins removed, and any guns purchased during the NRA convention will have to be picked up at a Federal Firearms License dealer, near where the purchaser lives, and will require a legal identification.”

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Boner Candidate #3: SOMETIMES THE CURE IS WORSE THAN THE INJURY

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Image By ornello_pics

A pioneering facial surgeon ‘repeatedly’ punched a patient in the head in an ‘extraordinary’ attempt to correct a fracture caused by an industrial accident, a medical tribunal has heard. Professor Ninian Peckitt, 63, claimed he had simply ‘digitally manipulated’ the patient’s face as part of hospital treatment, but witnesses said that in reality he had actually been hitting him, the tribunal was told.

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Feature Image By Steven Depolo

 


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