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Boner Candidates for February 3, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: WE ARE AGAINST CLEAN AIR

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Image By haven’t the slightest

On Saturday at the Utah State Capitol in Salt Lake City, citizens rallied for the second year to challenge the government to do more to clean up the infamously dirty air — not just in Salt Lake City, but all of Utah. My wife and I had to leave early, and as we were walking off of the grounds of the State Capitol, we heard several cars and trucks revving their engines. A line of cars and trucks with a combination of Idaho and Utah plates were evidently trying to circle the Capital so they could idle and rev their engines in some sort of counter protest to the thousands gathered on the lawn.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE ANTI VACCERS

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Image By AJ Cann

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) argued Monday that debate over whether to allow parents more choice in the vaccination of their children was a matter of “freedom,” citing personal knowledge of kids “who wound up with profound mental disorders” after receiving immunizations for diseases like Hepatitis B and measles. “I don’t think there’s anything extraordinary about resorting to freedom,” the potential 2016 presidential candidate, who is an ophthalmologist, said in an interview with CNBC.

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Boner Candidate#3: I HAVE THE PRECIOUS

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Image By Sonny Abesamis

Fourth-grader Aiden Stewart was suspended Friday for bringing what he claimed was the One Ring, forged by Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom, to school, the Odessa American reports. Stewart told a classmate the ring could make him disappear, which, if it really were the One Ring, it could.

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Feature Image By Sean Dreilinger

 

 


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