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Boner Candidates for March 24, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: TAKE THAT

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Image By Adeben Hong

A Boca Raton woman has been charged with smearing dog poop on her neighbor after police say the two got into a fight because the neighbor’s dog defecated in her yard. Amy Goldberg, 57, was released Thursday after being charged with battery on a person 65 years or older. According to an arrest report, Goldberg’s neighbor was walking her dog when the animal defecated on Goldberg’s lawn in an upscale golf club community. The neighbor said that Goldberg told her to clean it up. Goldberg allegedly then picked up the feces and smeared it on the woman’s hands and shirt. The Palm Beach Post reports Goldberg admitted targeting the neighbor with feces but claimed her neighbor smeared it on herself.

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Boner Candidate #2: YOU DRANK ALL THE JUICE?

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Image By Mervi Eskelinen

A Louisiana family’s argument about orange juice ended in bloodshed and an arrest for attempted manslaughter Sunday morning after a father allegedly shot his teenage son in the ass with a .357 revolver. Sometime Sunday morning, Eldridge Dukes allegedly confronted his 18-year-old son about the lack of orange juice in their Baton Rouge home. The Advocate reports that the fight escalated—a vase was reportedly broken—and eventually spilled into the street, where Dukes allegedly chased after his son and shot at him three times. The son was struck once in the butt.

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Boner Candidate #3: THIS TATTOO WAS A BAD IDEA

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Image By Jose …

In a misguided ode to a girlfriend, Kirk Soccorso tattooed his beloved’s name on the inside of his lower lip. Her name is Isis. They have since broken up. When he showed the tattoo to his co-workers at a Long Island Home Depot discussing the extremist militant group beheading people in Syria, he was reportedly fired.

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Feature Image By Jose …

 


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