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Boner Candidates for January 14, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

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Image By Lori Greig

When Price Mayor Joe Piccolo stormed into the cosmetology building at the Utah State University Eastern campus in Price and began berating instructors over a grade his daughter received on a project, witnesses called campus police.

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Boner Candidate #2: I WAS TRYING TO DANCE MY PANTS UP

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Image By bark

The incident unfolded Monday morning near the intersection of US-41 and Pine Island Road when a deputy observed three people walking in the crosswalk with bicycles just after 1 a.m.

The deputy said one person in the group, later identified as Clayton Cornelison, stopped in the middle of the crosswalk, set his bicycle down and pulled down his shorts.

Shortly after, the man proceeded to “shake his penis by moving his hips in a circular motion and proceeded to dance in the middle of the intersection with his pants around his ankles in the direction of oncoming traffic,” according to the arrest report.

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Boner Candidate #3: WE WILL DEFEND OURSELVES WITH CANNED CORN

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Image By Jordan Fischer

An Alabama middle school principal wants to stockpile cans of corn and peas in classrooms for students to hurl at possible intruders as a last resort defense.

In a letter Friday, W.F. Burns Middle School Principal Priscella Holley asked parents to have each student bring an 8-ounce canned item.

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