Boners

Boner of the Day for July 28th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: Oh, Yeah? Well if You’re Batman, Where’s Your Utility Belt?

A naked man walking around at an Englewood hotel identified himself as “Batman” when deputies asked him for his name. The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office said they went to the Suncoast Inn on South McCall Road late Friday after the manager reported a naked man had tried to get into his room. Deputies found Christopher L. Jackson, 49, sitting at a table outside the hotel. He was uncooperative and said only “I’m Batman” when they asked for his name. He told them he had a room at the hotel and locked himself out by accident, but the hotel manager said Jackson was not a guest there.   Read More

Boner Candidate #2: I Hear DJ D-Sol is Also the CEO of Goldman Sachs

Governor Andrew Cuomo’s office is investigating a Chainsmokers concert held in the Hamptons where attendees ignored social distancing guidelines and hordes of fans partied by the stage without masks over the weekend. The ‘Safe & Sound’ charity drive-in show on Saturday had about 500 drive-in parking spots that reportedly sold for up to $25,000 each and welcomed a couple thousand attendees in Water Mill, New York. The show featured a performance by The Chainsmokers and opening acts from Southampton’s Town Supervisor Jay Schneiderman’s band and Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon as DJ D-Sol. Despite the concert’s design to have ‘safe zones’ for cars with up to six people, posts on social media showed people leaving their cars, partying together, and dancing without masks.   Read More

Boner Candidate #3: That’s Not His Schnoz

Senator David Perdue of Georgia’s re-election campaign was assailed on Monday for a Facebook advertisement that enlarged the nose of his Democratic opponent, Jon Ossoff, who is Jewish, in a portrayal that critics immediately denounced as anti-Semitic. The Republican senator’s fund-raising ad, which surfaced after The Forward published an article about it on Monday, included grainy photographs of Mr. Ossoff and the Senate minority leader, Chuck Schumer, who is also Jewish. “Democrats are trying to buy Georgia!” the ad said, adding that Mr. Schumer had poured millions of dollars into the race. Mr. Perdue’s campaign said on Monday that the ad had been taken down and that the alteration had been an outside vendor’s error. But critics said that it reflected something more insidious, arguing that the campaign had employed imagery long used to malign Jews at a time when a rising tide of anti-Semitism in the country has seeped into politics. In a post on Twitter, the political advocacy arm of Bend the Arc, a progressive Jewish organization, called it blatant: “It’s not an accident.”   Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: Hey Bud, Nice Car

A Florida man was charged with fraud Monday after receiving $3.9 million in loans from the Paycheck Protection Program to buy himself, among other things, a Lamborghini sports car, authorities said. David T. Hines of Miami, Florida, was charged with one count of bank fraud, one count of making false statements to a financial institution and one count of engaging in transactions in unlawful proceeds, according to a statement released by the U.S. Department of Justice. Authorities allege that Hines, 29, applied on behalf of a few companies for $13.5 million in loans provided by Paycheck Protection Program, which was designed to keep small businesses afloat amid the coronavirus pandemic. The complaint also alleges Hines lied about the amount paid to employees. Instead, he used the funds to shop at luxurious stores and resorts in Miami Beach, according to the statement.   Read More

Boner Candidate #2: It May Be Time for the Tired Hospital

On Monday, July 27, the 38-year-old pop star showed off her full body Henna tattoos, which were done in a white design. “So I got carried away with henna,” Britney began her caption on Instagram. “I think I’m going for a bohemian look in the second picture …. not sure what my hands on my hips are about. I guess I’m demanding attention.” In her first image, the “Gimme More” songstress posed for the camera in a snake print bikini. She accessorized with a black choker necklace and styled her hair in loose waves. Moreover, Britney appeared to be makeup-free (with the exception of her signature eyeliner). Her latest look comes exactly one week after she decided to embrace her natural beauty. “Who would have thunk it,” the “Toxic” singer wrote. “After all this time in my life I’m just now learning that no makeup is the way to go….”   Read More

Boner Candidate #3: They Got It Wrong

A tweet about WNBA players protesting the national anthem went super-viral from ESPN’s account on Saturday. The tweet claimed that players from the New York Liberty and Seattle Storm walked off the floor as the national anthem was played before their game. “As the national anthem was played, the New York Liberty and Seattle Storm walked off the floor as part of the social justice initiative,” the tweet, which sparked thousands of reactions from fans and media members, read. ESPN reporter Holly Rowe, who’s inside of the WNBA bubble, pointed out that the viral tweet is wrong. “This is not accurate. The teams decided to respectfully stay in the locker room for the anthem. This is not an accurate representation of what happened. As you can hear the anthem was NOT playing,” she wrote.  Read More


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