ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: THE TEACHER MADE ME DO IT
A 13 year old student was bullied by his teacher, who as a punishment made him clean out the toilet with his bare hands. via The Root
Boner Candidate #2: I WAS ONE OF THOSE JACKASSES
Idaho resident Paul Russel used to believe that COVID-19 would disappear after the election, that was until he ended up in the hospital with long term COVID. via Yahoo
Boner Candidate #3: ANOTHER GREAT STORY FROM LAUREN
Lauren Boebert made a speech today on the house floor stating that she carries a gun because a man was beaten outside her restaurant, but local authorities disputed this saying that the man died of a drug overdose. via Yahoo News
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: DANK GUMMIES
Florida man almost hit a gas pump, when to police arrived after the attendant called, instead of handing the cops his id he handed them his THC infused gummies. via Click Orlando
Boner Candidate #2: IF MASKS ARE SO GREAT WHY DIDN’T WE NEED THEM DURING THE AIDS CRISIS?
Arizona State Rep. Joseph Chaplik stated that masks are not that effective and if they were we would have been using them during the HIV epidemic. via Snopes
Boner Candidate #3: BRING MY CAR AROUND, LIKE A GOOD FELLOW
Tegna CEO Dave Lougee, mistakenly asked one of his Board memebers, who is black, for a valet. via Yahoo News