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Boner of the Week- August 17-21, 2015

Monday: IT’S JUST SOME GIRL IN PARAGUAY. NOT SOMEONE I HAVE TO LOOK IN THE EYE OR THINK ABOUT EVER AGAIN

GOP presidential candidate and former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee said that he supports the decision to deny an abortion to a 10-year-old rape victim in Paraguay. “I wouldn’t pretend it’s anything other than a terrible tragedy, But let’s not compound the tragedy by taking yet another life,” he said in an interview with Dana Bash on CNN’s State of the Union Sunday. The victim, an unidentified girl in Paraguay, was raped by her stepfather in a case that has attracted attention worldwide. Laws in the South American country prevented the girl from receiving an abortion. Huckabee acknowledged that many people, including some in his own party, find this position outside the mainstream and said he respects that position but feels he needs to remain consistent. “If life matters, and if that’s a person, then every life matters,” he said.

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Tuesday: I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NUMBER ONE

The man accused of raping an underclassman at John Kerry’s alma mater allegedly told detectives it was all a misunderstanding tied to a annual tradition known as the “Senior Salute,” wherein seniors publicly competed to sleep with the most underclassmen throughout the school year. Owen Labrie, a 19-year-old former prefect at St. Paul’s school in New Hampshire, was charged with repeatedly raping a 15-year-old girl on the roof of a campus building last summer. He’s denied having intercourse with her but allegedly told detectives it was “tradition” for seniors to keep a rolling list of sexual conquests published for all students to see—initially on a laundry room wall, and later on the internet.

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Wednesday: HORRIBLE PEOPLE IN A HORRIBLE WORLD

Like other little boys, Baraka Cosmas Lusambo loves to play soccer. When he hears music, his feet tap and his face breaks out into a wide smile. During summer pool time recently, he used his left hand to toss a ball through a basketball hoop while red arm floaties kept him above water. Baraka Cosmas Lusambo, 6, remembers the night when men with torches broke into his home in Tanzania and chopped off his right hand.Photo: AP The joy vanished, though, when he was reminded of the night when men armed with torches and knives burst into his family’s home in western Tanzania, knocked his mother unconscious and sliced off his other hand. “We were simply sleeping when someone just arrived,” Baraka said. “They came to me with machetes.” Baraka has albinism, a condition that leaves its victims with little or no pigment in their skin or eyes. In some traditional communities of Tanzania and other countries in Africa, albinos, as they’re often called, are thought to have magical properties, and their body parts can fetch thousands of dollars on the black market as ingredients in witch doctors’ potions said to give the user wealth and good luck.

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Thursday: YET ANOTHER WRONG PATH FOR MR. DUGGAR

In 2013, conservative reality TV star Josh Duggar—of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting fame—was named the executive director of the Family Research Council, a conservative lobbying group in D.C. which seeks “to champion marriage and family as the foundation of civilization, the seedbed of virtue, and the wellspring of society.” During that time, he also maintained a paid account on Ashley Madison, a web site created for the express purpose of cheating on your spouse.

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Friday: TRUMP IS RIGHT

Two Boston brothers busted for beating up and urinating on a 58-year-old homeless Hispanic man said they were partly inspired by Donald Trump’s comments on illegal immigrants. When asked why they did it, one of the brothers told cops, “Donald Trump was right, all these illegals need to be deported,” the Boston Globe reported. Scott and Steve Leader were on their way home from a Red Sox game early Wednesday when they stumbled upon a hobo sleeping near the John F. Kennedy/UMass subway stop. The man told cops that when he awoke, the two men were urinating on his face and ransacking his makeshift shelter, police said. After ripping away his blankets and sleeping bag, the Leader brothers started pummeling the man, cops said. “He remembers being punched several times and hit with the metal pole,” notes a state police report.

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