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Boner Candidates August 21st, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: BRING BACK SLAVERY

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Image By: Yuriko Akino

A conservative radio talk show host in Iowa wants to turn undocumented immigrants into “property of the state” and forced into labor.¬†“Put up a sign that says at the end of 60 days, if you are not here with our permission, can’t prove your legal status, you become property of the state,” Jan Mickelson said during his show on Monday. “And then we start to extort or exploit or indenture your labor.”¬†Audio of Mickelson’s segment was posted online by Media Matters.When a caller said “it sounds an awful lot like slavery,”¬†Mickelson asked: “Well, what’s wrong with slavery?”He also claimed that Americans are “indentured” to undocumented immigrants by supposedly being forced to pay their expenses.¬†Mickelson said the undocumented immigrants could be housed in tents, similar to the “Tent City Jail” set up by Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio.¬†“Put up a tent village, we feed and water these new assets, we give them minimal shelter, minimal nutrition, and offer them the opportunity to work for the benefit of the taxpayers of the state of Iowa,” Mickelson said. “All they have to do to avoid servitude is to leave.”

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Boner Candidate #2: BOOZE AND GUNS

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Image by: Robby Virus

Another round of shots, good sir!¬†Commissioners in Daytona Beach, Florida, approved a measure Wednesday that will allow the opening of a 12-lane gun range connected to a booze-filled restaurant. Commissioners were “leery” at first, because alcohol and guns don’t mix, but they came around to the idea, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.¬†The paper reports:I’ve gone back and forth on this,” said Commissioner Pam Woods, who later cast a yes vote.¬†“I was leery,” echoed Commissioner Patrick Henry, who also supported the business.¬†Commissioner Ruth Trager wasn’t won over by the new business’ developers at the meeting who explained the precautions they’ll take, and she cast the lone no vote. She drilled the business partners with questions about how they’ll know if someone is sober or a felon.

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Boner Candidate #3: TRUMP IS RIGHT

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Image by: Gage Skidmore

Two Boston brothers busted for beating up and urinating on a 58-year-old homeless Hispanic man said they were partly inspired by Donald Trump‚Äôs comments on illegal immigrants.¬†When asked why they did it, one of the brothers told cops, ‚ÄúDonald Trump was right, all these illegals need to be deported,‚ÄĚ the Boston Globe reported.¬†Scott and Steve Leader were on their way home from a Red Sox game early Wednesday when they stumbled upon a hobo sleeping near the John F. Kennedy/UMass subway stop.¬†The man told cops that when he awoke, the two men were urinating on his face and ransacking his makeshift shelter, police said.¬†After ripping away his blankets and sleeping bag, the Leader brothers started pummeling the man, cops said.¬†‚ÄúHe remembers being punched several times and hit with the metal pole,‚ÄĚ notes a state police report.

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