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Boner Preview Candidates for September 2, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: THINNING OF THE HERD

A 19-year-old Houston man is dead after police say he accidentally shot himself while taking ‘selfies’ while holding a gun. Deleon Alonso Smith died of a gunshot wound to the throat about 1:30 p.m. Tuesday at an apartment in southwestern Houston. Investigators say Smith had found a gun and was taking pictures of himself and a cousin while holding the weapon and posting them to social media websites when the gun discharged, killing Smith. Investigators say the cousin was in another room when the gun fired.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: SLAVERY WASN’T ALL BAD

In 2010, the Texas Board of Education approved a revised social studies curriculum that, wrote The New York Times that year, would “put a conservative stamp on history” once going into effect in 2015. In advance of their debut in Texas classrooms last week, it was widely reported that the new textbooks, published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and Pearson, “whitewashed” slavery by downplaying the brutality of the facts and treating it as a “side issue.” Jezebel has obtained digital copies of some of the new “conservative” Texas textbooks (the books are available to education professionals but not the general public), and while they certainly aren’t the abomination some activists and educators feared, their contents demonstrate a troubling creep away from teaching actual history—and the unpleasant truth of America’s legacy of racism—and toward a sanitized fable of historical white morality.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: PRINCE AND BEYONCE ARE AS DANGEROUS AS THE CONFEDERATE FLAG

In the wake of the racially-charged shooting massacre in Charleston, South Carolina, many have called on a ban of the Confederate flag. Several retailer including Walmart have obliged, pulling Confederate-themed merchandise from their shelves. Not surprisingly, FOX News host, conservative pundit, and Ryan Adams hater Sean Hannity has taken issue with these stores’ decision. His rational? They’re still selling records from Beyoncé,Jay Z, and other “racist, misogynist, sexist” artists.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: A SUGGESTION FOR THE BEARS

A survey left behind at Xanterra Parks and Resorts, which operates facilities in Yellowstone National Park, reveals that one visitor thinks the park’s bears need more training.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: SEND THEM TO THE MISTING SHOWERS

Operators of the historical Auschwitz concentration camp site set up misting showers outside prison gates, angering Israeli tourists who were shocked by the insensitivity. Nazis used showers to kill millions of Jewish prisoners during the Holocaust, so modern-day tourists were taken aback when they saw an outdoor sprinkler shower system — installed to cool down summer visitors – on the solemn grounds in Poland, according to the news Web site Ynet.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: IT’S TIME TO PUT MR. O’REILLY OUT OF BUSINESS

After entertaining two perspectives on whether the Black Lives Matter movement should be categorized as a “hate group,” Bill O’Reilly decided, “They’re a hate group.” Well! Glad that’s settled. Just kidding—there’s always more: “And I’m going to tell you right now, I’m going to put them out of business.”

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