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Boner Preview Candidates September 1st, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: YOU CANT MAKE ME DRIVE THE PRIDE BUS

A Calgary Transit driver at the center of a hotbed of controversy now says that he’s being unfairly treated because of his stance on the rainbow-wrapped Pride Bus, which was introduced last week.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: SEND THEM TO THE MISTING SHOWERS

Operators of the historical Auschwitz concentration camp site set up misting showers outside prison gates, angering Israeli tourists who were shocked by the insensitivity.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: Cops: Job applicant sent naked selfies to HR manager

In a move that will likely lengthen his quest for gainful employment, a 23-year-old Aurora man sent naked selfies to the human resources manager of a St. Charles company where he had just been offered a job earlier this month, according to police.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: DO I. DO IT. DO IT. WHEN YA GONNA DO IT?

Last July, an 18-year-old Massachusetts man named Conrad Roy III killed himself by placing a gas-powered water pump in his pickup truck and letting the carbon monoxide consume him. Prosecutors say that Roy’s girlfriend, 17-year-old Michelle Carter, spent months convincing Roy to commit suicide, and text messages between the two entered in court make a compelling and sad case that she did.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: IT’S TIME TO PUT MR. O’REILLY OUT OF BUSINESS

After entertaining two perspectives on whether the Black Lives Matter movement should be categorized as a “hate group,” Bill O’Reilly decided, “They’re a hate group.” Well! Glad that’s settled. Just kidding—there’s always more: “And I’m going to tell you right now, I’m going to put them out of business.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: Elisabeth Hasselbeck Thinks The Black Lives Matter Movement Should Be A Hate Group

A black man named Shannon Miles is a suspect in the Friday shooting death of Harris County Sheriff’s Deputy Darren Goforth near Houston, Texas, so Fox News is blaming it on Black Lives Matter. And here to ask the tough questions is Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

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Boner Preview Candidate #7: SELFIE CRASH

ORIENT, Maine — Several people were injured Saturday afternoon after the car they were traveling in crashed into a tree after the driver reportedly leaned over to get in frame for a selfie, according to state police.

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