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Pre-Boner Candidates for October 6, 2015

Pre-Boner Candidate #1: WELL THEN WHY WERE YOU FILMING OVER BY THE HOT CHICKEN AND NOT IN THE BAKERY

A man caught placing his iPhone under the skirt of a Publix shopper told police that he was actually “taking pictures of cakes” for his wife, and not engaging in some felonious supermarket voyeurism.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #2: HEROIN IS PART OF OUR FAMILY CULTURE

A suburban Philadelphia woman repeatedly injected her 14-year-old daughter and another teen with heroin, even tying a string around their arms to isolate their veins, prosecutors said Monday.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #3: THEY SENT THE WESTBORO MEANIES PACKIN.

A crowd of high school students drove Westboro Baptist Church protestors away from their school in Kansas City, Missouri last week where the hate group gathered to protest the recent election of a transgender girl as homecoming queen.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #4: NOT HAIR GEL? CRAP.

A photo of a mystery Eastern European woman waiting in a hospital ER after confusing her hair mousse with a can of expanding builders’ foam has surfaced on the Internet. The image has been widely shared since it first appeared on Tuesday morning.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #5: I’VE HAD A REVELATION. OH, AND BRING ME A DRINK.

A New York State Republican assemblyman who opposed medical marijuana legislation at every turn was arrested and charged with unlawful possession of marijuana. The police found the marijuana after they pulled him over for speeding.

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Pre-Boner Candidate #6: THE WRONG TIME AND PLACE FOR REVENGE

A jilted girlfriend has suffered serious burn injuries after carrying out a botched acid attack on her former lover, police say.

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