Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates February 2, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: SHE’S JUST A HORRIBLE WOMAN.

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) was not happy Monday when her interview with NBC’s “Today” anchors Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie veered away from the topic of the Iowa caucuses and toward her son’s recent arrest. “You guys brought me here to talk about Iowa politics and the caucus tonight, not to talk about my kids!” said Palin, the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee, in her first interview since endorsing Donald Trump, the current Republican presidential front-runner. “That was a promise!” Palin went on. “But, as things go in the world of media, you guys don’t always keep your promises, evidently.” Palin’s son Track, who was arrested Jan. 18 on weapons and domestic violence charges, is a veteran of the Iraq War. Palin suggested shortly after the arrest that President Barack Obama may be to blame because he does not offer veterans the respect they deserve.

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Boner Candidate #2: ARE YOU READY FOR THE NEOMASCULINISTS?

An online group of misogynistic, homophobic neomasculinists who believe rape on private property should be legal and women with eating disorders make ideal girlfriends are arranging their first real-life meet-ups in Australia. Return of Kings is a US-based international web community for “heterosexual, masculine men” founded four years ago. And they are gearing up for their first global meet-up day on Saturday. Australia is among 43 countries hosting events, with three in Sydney and one each in Melbourne, Brisbane and Perth. Anyone who is female, gay or transgender is strictly banned from attending. The group’s contentious ringleader, pick-up artist Daryush “Roosh” Valizadeh [see Instagram below], put up a post imploring members to “come out of the shadows and not have to hide behind a computer screen for fear of retaliation.” “Up to now, the enemy has been able to exert their power by isolating us and attacking with shrieking mobs, but we’ll be able to neutralize that tactic by amassing in high numbers come February 6,” Valizadeh wrote.

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Boner Candidate #3: THAT’S RIGHT. GET THE CHILDREN.

A gang of masked men have been detained in Stockholm after distributing leaflets threatening to punish “north African street children roaming” the Swedish capital. Police said one man had been charged with assaulting a police officer and the others had been charged with wearing a mask in public, which is illegal in Sweden, and for causing a public disturbance. A police spokesman told local media the men detained were believed to have gathered “with the purpose of attacking refugee children”. According to the Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet, up to 100 masked men marched into central Stockholm on Friday to hand out leaflets carrying the message “It’s enough now” and threatening to give the “north African street children who are roaming around” the “punishment they deserve”. Fredrik Nylén, of Stockholm police, was quoted by the newspaper as saying the men were thought to be members of hooligan gangs linked to Stockholm football teams. This week an employee at a refugee centre for unaccompanied youths in Mölndal, near Gothenburg, was fatally stabbed, allegedly by a young man living at the centre.

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