Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates February 4, 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: MAYBE THE KIDS DESERVED IT?

A worker who reportedly posted photos of herself giving children inside an Arizona day care center the middle finger with the caption, “I swear I love kids,” is out of a job. Fox10Phoenix.com reported that law enforcement did not find anything criminal in the postings, but parents caught wind of the picture and were angry.The unnamed worker, a 19-year-old, apparently oblivious to any possible repercussions, reportedly showed the image to parents at the center.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: WE NEED TO DO AWAY WITH FRATERNITIES IN GENERAL.

Members of AEPi, a historically Jewish fraternity, in emails referred to a Muslim student as a terrorist, said “dynamite and C-4” explosives were fixtures of Islamic culture, and made plans to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day at a fried chicken restaurant. Alpha Epsilon Pi fraternity members at the University of Chicago referred to a Muslim student-activist on campus as a “terrorist” and planned to celebrate “Marathon Luther King Day” by drinking and eating at a fried chicken restaurant, according to emails obtained by BuzzFeed News.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: OH PLEASE MARCO

Republican presidential candidate Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) somehow found a way to criticize President Barack Obama’s speech on Wednesday denouncing anti-Muslim bigotry.  Rubio, who often stresses religious liberty and his own faith on the campaign trail, said Obama’s words at a Baltimore mosque were intended to divide, rather than unite, the American people.”I’m tired of being divided against each other for political reasons like this president’s done,” Rubio said at a Wednesday campaign stop in Dover, New Hampshire. “Always pitting people against each other.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: DON’T MESS WITH THE GIRL SCOUTS.

San Francisco 49ers officials were doing damage control with a Bay Area Girl Scout troop Wednesday after team officials had to cancel and then reschedule a planned scout sleepover on the 50 yard line at Levi’s Stadium. It sounded almost too good to be true for these Northern California Girl Scouts. The troupe that sold 600 boxes of Girl Scout cookies would get the first-ever sleepover at Levi’s Stadium in May on the very field the Super Bowl will be played on.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: THE SAD, SAD BUSH CAMPAIGN.

GOP presidential hopeful Jeb Bush made a cringe-worthy plea Tuesday in New Hampshire to a college student who has never voted before. “I want to be your first,” he told the student, according to Washington Post reporter Ed O’Keefe,who tweeted the awkward exchange. The former Florida governor had been taking questions at a town hall event in Rindge, NH. He is in the Granite State after suffering a shellacking in the Iowa caucus.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: I HAD A FAMILY TO SUPPORT.

Eduardo Cornejo, a 10-year veteran of the NYPD, was fired last month for failing a random drug test. He was also, however, being investigated by the FBI and the Police Department’s Internal Affairs Bureau for running a prostitution ring out of various area motels. On Tuesday, Cornejo was charged with transporting women in interstate commerce to engage in prostitution (a federal offense). The United States attorney’s office for the Eastern District of New York accuses Cornejo, 33, of employing 10 prostitutes, who he drove to motels in New Jersey and on Staten Island and Long Island.

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