Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for December 3 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: I KNEW ALL ALONG IT WASN’T REAL COKE.

A Saudi Arabian man vacationing in tony Aspen became enraged after his cabbie refused to take a sniff of cocaine he allegedly offered, according to a local report.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: DAD, I NEED YOU TO PASS OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE NOW.

A Volusia County man is accused of trying to electrocute his father after finding out he was the sole beneficiary of the man’s will. In a news release, Ormond Beach police said Monday that 81-year-old John Knudsen told them his 44-year-old son, also named John Knudsen, held two black wires to his chest early Thanksgiving morning.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: NO BIG DEAL. I MEAN SHE LOVES THE SKATEBOARD.

It had been a difficult week for Rosa Perez and her family. A special wheelchair that had belonged to Perez’s four-year-old daughter was stolen from their front yard over the weekend. The Santa Ana, California mom admitted that the theft had been a real blow. Her daughter, who was born without legs, relied on the motorized chair to get around. And her family said they had no idea how they would afford to buy her another.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE THIEF?

Police have arrested a Missouri man with very distinctive face tattoos after he allegedly tried to steal the truck of a pastor who had given him a lift. Robert Michael, 31, was charged with attempted robbery after repeatedly trying to take keys from the unidentified preacher who took him 20 miles from Oak Grove to Independence, outside Kansas City.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: I NEEDED A WAY TO THE JAIL

Police arrested a man after he stole a truck- so he could pick up his girlfriend from jail. Miguel Redshirt drove the truck into the parking lot of the Tempe Police Department and was quickly nabbed by an officer with license plate-reading cameras in his squad car.

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