Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates November 20th, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: IT ALMOST WORKED.

A man who allegedly called 911 to report a shooting inside a Wal-Mart just to get out of a ticket and another traffic citation Thursday later barricaded himself inside his home, police said.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: LIKE WHEN THE NAZIS MADE THE JEWS REGISTER AND WHEN THE FEDS SHUT DOWN THE MORMON CHRUCHES AND…..

The new national spokeswoman for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump claimed this week that the Department of Justice investigated and closed down “Mormon churches” as she argued there is a precedent for the government to shutter mosques with terrorist ties. “This is no different than a Christian church, it’s not different than a Mormon church,” Trump’s new national spokeswoman Katrina Pierson told Fox News’ Megyn Kelly on Wednesday. “You’ve had the DOJ investigate Mormon churches and shut them down and Seventh-day Adventist churches.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: I WANT TO BE THERE FOR THE BIRTH.

A Utah man has been indicted on a federal charge of calling in a bomb threat to a hospital because he allegedly wanted to delay the delivery of his child until he could get there from Idaho. The indictment, returned Wednesday, accuses Michael Sherman Morlang of maliciously conveying false information, a charge that carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: JR. HIGH IN UTAH COUNTY? NOT REALLY READY FOR THIS.

Salem Junior High School parents became concerned when a first-year history teacher assigned their children to create a terrorism propaganda poster. According to Nebo School District spokeswoman Lana Hiskey, the assignment was not approved, and the teacher has since retracted the assignment. Hiskey said the teacher was trying to teach the students about how propaganda can be inappropriate while they were talking about the Middle East.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: RABID DOGS RUNNING THROUGH YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson on Thursday used an extended metaphor about rabid dogs to discuss efforts to vet refugees fleeing the bloody civil war in Syria. While speaking at a campaign event in Mobile, Alabama, Carson compared the need to screen refugees before they enter the U.S. with the steps a community would take to protect children from rabid dogs. “If there is a rabid dog running around your neighborhood, you’re probably not going to assume something good about that dog. And you’re probably going to put your children out of the way,” Carson said. “Doesn’t mean that you hate all dogs, by any stretch of the imagination. But, you’re putting your intellect into motion and you’re thinking, how do I protect my children?”

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