Boner Candidate #1: WE AIN’T GONNA LET STRAIGHT PEOPLE GAY MARRY EITHER.
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Gov. Steve Beshear’s administration is arguing in a brief filed with the U.S. Supreme Court that Kentucky’s ban on gay marriage isn’t discriminatory because it bars both gay and straight people from same-sex unions. The brief argues that because Kentucky’s law bars everyone from same-sex marriage, it isn’t discriminatory and should be upheld. Attorney Dan Canon, who represents six gay couples challenging Kentucky’s gay marriage ban, told The Courier-Journal that the argument in the brief filed last week is “especially absurd.” “Kentucky is in essence saying that our clients are precluded from marriage entirely, unless they change their sexual orientation (or simply marry someone to whom they are not attracted),” he said in an email.
Boner Candidate#2: PRAY OR BE RAPED
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Monsignor Greg Bennett apologised after one of the church’s priests allegedly made inappropriate comments about the murder of Jill Meagher. He said the church will recommend guidelines on “training and cultural understanding.” He added that the priest, whose name was not disclosed, was apologetic. Bennett is the vicar-general of the archdiocese of Melbourne. The controversy sparked when the said priest, while giving his homily before a 100-crowd at a Catholic primary school in Melbourne, held up a newspaper clipping about the 29-year-old Irish Meagher, who was raped and murdered in September 2012. He preached that had Jill Meagher been more “faith-filled, she would have been home in bed” and “not walking down Sydney road at 3 am.” Acknowledging the homily was not appropriate, Bennett told 3AW the church did not support those views and that he was sorry for the offence and upset it has caused. Meanwhile, Shane Healy, a spokesperson for the church, narrated to The Guardian that immediately after uttering the comments, the priest “had been spoken to,” and the “church had apologised.” He said the senior church officials had met over the weekend and a “series of steps” were being implemented on Monday to prevent similar comments from being made in the future. He was mum, however, about whether the priest was given any disciplinary action.
Boner Candidate #3: JUST TRYING TO HELP THE RESURRECTION
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A bizarre vandalism case out of Utah County with a twisted Easter theme has landed one man in jail. Payson police say Spencer Robinson, 36, intentionally damaged 30 to 35 gravestones at the city cemetery. The vandalism was discovered Sunday. Police Lt. Bill Wright said Robinson admitted to the vandalism, telling police he wanted to help alleviate the weight of the headstones on the deceased. Robinson also said with Easter coming, he wanted to help those in the graves to “be resurrected easier,” Wright said.
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