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Boner Candidates for February 27, 2015

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Boner Candidate #1: OR YOU COULD JUST GO BUY THE SAME STUFF AT WALMART

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Image By Mike Mozart

As far as basehead mayor memorabilia goes, the tie Rob Ford wore when he admitted to smoking crack cocaine is hardly a museum piece. It is, however, something you can actually buy and own, one of several personal items Ford put on eBay Wednesday night. Under the less-than-inspired handle “torontorobford,” the former mayor also put some moose print jammie pants, a size 4XL football jersey and a poster that looks like it came from Spencer’s Gifts, up for auction.

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Boner Candidate #2: BRAG ABOUT BEING A HORRIBLE ASS

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Image By Tom Raftery

A Texas man allegedly shot and killed his neighbor’s dogs after they strayed onto his property — then boasted about the sick act on social media, according to local reports. Tim Conatser, a volunteer fireman, posted a photo to Facebook of the mortally wounded pooches lying in blood-stained snow, with the caption, “Somebody didn’t put any truth [to] my warning. Keep your damn dogs on your property.” Conatser had previously ordered the dogs’ owners to keep them away from his Royse City ranch after they attacked his livestock, CBS reported. “So he went over to his neighbor’s and told him that his dogs was getting in his barn and attacking his animals, to please ya know keep ‘em at home, put ‘em on a leash, build a fence, do something,” Conatser family friend Kevin Forester told the station. When the dogs returned, Conatser allegedly gunned them down.

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Boner Candidate #3: JOIN US HERE IN UTAH, JIMMY

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Image By MissMessie

The Senate’s most vocal critic of the scientific consensus on climate change, Jim Inhofe of Oklahoma, tossed a snowball on the Senate floor Thursday as part of his case for why global warming is a hoax. Inhofe, who wrote the book The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future, took to the floor to decry the “hysteria on global warming.” “In case we have forgotten, because we keep hearing that 2014 has been the warmest year on record, I ask the chair, ‘You know what this is?'” he said, holding up a snowball. “It’s a snowball, from outside here. So it’s very, very cold out. Very unseasonable.” “Catch this,” he said to the presiding officer, tossing the blob of snow.

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Feature Image By Stefan

 

 


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