Boner Candidate #1: A NAKED JOG/DRUGS WERE INVOLVED
A one-year-old girl was left alone on a beach in Cameron Parish, La., while her parents jogged in the nude nearby on Tuesday morning, KPLC-TV reported. Cameron Parish Sheriff Ron Johnson told KPLC-TV that police received a report that a baby was alone on the beach at 10:16 Tuesday morning. He said they found the 20-month-old child sunburnt and covered in mosquito bites, two miles from a Ford Explorer that was left running. Johnson said the parents were found hours later and several miles from where the child was sitting. Cody and Monique Bourgeois appeared to be jogging in the nude, he said.
Boner Candidate #2: I GOT A BAG OF M 80S FOR THE BOY
Four-year-old Roman Schell was riding in his father’s car on July 5 when a sack containing explosives blew up in his lap, severely injuring the youngster, according to an affidavit obtained Tuesday by The Topeka Capital-Journal. The sack contained “several improvised explosive devices,” the report by a special agent of the Office of the State Fire Marshal said, and blew up in the child’s lap. The agent’s name was blacked out in the affidavit. The fire marshal’s office investigated the explosion. The child’s father, Jacob Daniel Schell, 37, of Topeka, was booked into Shawnee County Jail on Sept. 2 on charges of aggravated battery of the child, aggravated endangering of a child (reckless situation); criminal use of explosives; and driving while his driver’s license was suspended. Jacob Schell also was charged with an infraction requiring a child passenger to be restrained, according to jail records. Based on the investigation, the agent wrote that improvised explosive devices “exploded in the lap of (the child), recklessly injuring him,” as well as Jacob Schell.
Boner Candidate #3: MAYBE NOT A HATE CRIME
Police say what were at first believed to be three nooses were found hanging from a tree on the University of Delaware campus. Campus authorities initially called it a ” hate crime” and spent Wednesday morning looking for whoever hung them behind one of the campus buildings. Based on an investigation, however, University of Delaware Police determined this was not a hate crime and the items were actually remnants of paper lanterns from a previous event. The noose-like items were first seen by a student who then notified campus police. They were found on a tree near Mitchell Hall, where guns right advocate Katie Pavlich spoke earlier in the week at the invitation of a student group.
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