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Boner Candidates for Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Boner Candidate #1 KEEP YOUR GODLESSNESS TO YOURSELF

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Image by woodleywonderworks

A lawsuit recently filed against a teacher at Forest Park Elementary School in Indiana alleged that a 7-year-old student was “banished” from sitting with other students at lunch after he revealed that he did not believe in God. According to the lawsuit obtained by The Washington Post, second grade teacher Michelle Myer interrogated the student, who was identified with the initials A.B., about his religious beliefs after he told his classmates on the playground that he did not go to church because he did not believe in God. As a result, the child was ordered to sit by himself during lunch for a three-day period.

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Boner Candidate #2 KELLY OSBOURNE STANDS UP FOR LATINOS

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Image by Eva Renaldi

For reasons not readily apparent to me or anyone I know, celebukid and former Fashion Police scab Kelly Osbourne was a guest host on The View this morning. Like every time she goes on TV, Kelly offered a lot of useful insight to the discus—just kidding. During a conversation about Donald Trump, she confidently vomited up a racist comment about Latinos and then insisted she did not mean it “like that.”

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Boner Candidate #3 IT’S A VIOLATION OF OUR PRIVACY

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Image by Fabio Venni

This past June, three Santa Ana police officers were suspended after a video surfaced of them joking about kicking a woman in a wheelchair “in the fucking nub” and eating (what appears to be) weed-infused edibles during a raid of a medical marijuana dispensary. And now, those same cops want to ban that video from ever becoming evidence—because they didn’t realize they were on camera. In the video (which has been edited by the store’s attorneys), cops in masks are seen busting into what was an unlicensed dispensary. After escorting a patient with an amputated leg in a wheelchair out the door, one man asks a female officer “Did you punch that one legged old Benita?” To which the cop responds, “I was about to kick her in her fucking nub.”

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