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Boner Candidates October 9th, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: HARRY POTTER AND THE POWER OF CHRISTIAN PRAYER

This housewife decided to rewrite the Harry Potter series into Christian books so that her kids won’t be reading about witchcraft. It’s not easy to read, purely because reading while laughing is hard. It’s called: Harry Potter Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. 

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Boner Candidate #2: A WOMAN TALKING ABOUT BASEBALL…HOW DARE YOU?

An Atlanta sports radio host was suspended from his job in disgrace this week after going on a sexist social media rant about the MLB’s first female commentator, Jessica Mendoza. The gold-winning Olympian was adding color commentary for the Tuesday night game between the Astros and the Yankees when 92.9 radio host Mike Bell took to Twitter to complain about a woman narrating the game. ‘Really? A women’s softball slugger as guest analyst on MLB Wildcard Game? Once again ESPN too frigging cute for their own good,’ Bell said.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE UNDERSTANDING JUDGE

A recently released video shows a Seminole County, Florida, judge sentencing a domestic violence victim to three days in jail for not appearing at her alleged abuser’s trial, despite being subpoenaed to do so. In the emotional video from a court hearing in July, the unidentified woman pleads with Judge Jerri Collins not to send her to jail, explaining that she had been suffering from anxiety attacks after being viciously attacked by the father of her 1-year-old child, WFTV reports. “Your honor, I’m very sorry for not attending the last one,” she sobs. “I’ve been dealing with depression and just a lot personally since this happened. My anxiety is like, this is everyday for me.” To this, Judge Collins replies, “You think you’re going to have anxiety now? You haven’t even seen anxiety.”

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