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Boner Preview Candidates August 28 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: HE WAS HUNGRY AND I’VE DONE IT BEFORE

Troopers said the incident happened in the northbound lanes at about 7 p.m. in Everett. According to the Washington State Patrol, a person called 911 saying they saw what looked like a one-year-old boy sitting on a woman’s lap. Troopers spotted the vehicle and pulled the driver over. When the trooper approached the car, he saw the woman breastfeeding the child.  The driver told the trooper the child wouldn’t stop screaming and that she’s done it before. The woman was cited for child restraint violation. After being ticketed, she put her baby back in his car seat.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: ASSAULTED WITH POTATO SALAD

There has been a potato salad attack reported in Florida. ABradenton man is facing a domestic battery charge for allegedly pelting his mother with potato salad during a confrontation in their home. Jonathan Smith, 34, was arrested Saturday evening after his mother Jennifer told cops that he attacked her as she sat down to eat dinner (potato salad and chicken) in the living room. “Jonathan grabbed a hand full of potato salad and threw it,” striking his mother in the face, reported cops, who noted that the woman had “food all over her and in her hair” when they arrived at the residence. Though his mother yelled for him to stop, Smith “continued to throw food at his mother,” according to a probable cause affidavit.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: HEY! MY JORDANS!

What started as boasting turned into begging for a West Palm Beach teen, police said, after his $170 shoes were snatched and he jumped into a moving car to get them back. West Palm Beach police said the teen was showing off his brand new Air Jordans to some high school classmates when they snatched the sneakers. When he jumped in the car to get them back, the classmates snatched him too, police said.West Palm Beach police arrested one of the suspected thieves, Michael Kelly, 18, on Tuesday.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: IT TAKES A LIAR AND A CHEAT TO SPOT A LIAR AND A CHEAT

A billionaire hedge fund investor and GOP donor who publicly mocked Hillary Clinton this year for being married to “a liar and a cheat” had an account on the cheating site Ashley Madison, according to data released by hackers calling themselves the Impact Team. The name and email address of Dan Loeb, founder of hedge fund Third Point LLC and prominent contributor to the Romney campaign, appear in the company’s database of users, and Loeb confirmed in a statement to Gawker that the account is authentic. Once an Obama supporter, Loeb has since turned into a very generous supporter of Republican candidates and conservative Super PACs—he gifted $1,000,000 to the right-wing American Unity PAC and a quarter million to the Ending Spending Action Fund just last fall, along with tens of thousands of dollars straight to the Republican Party.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: I AM NOT A FAN OF HITLER

Donald Trump has an important message to share with his fellow Americans. “I’m not a fan of Hitler,” the Republican presidential front-runner said on Thursday as he addressed supporters in Greenville, South Carolina. The statement was made in response to a New York Times story that noted Los Angeles radio host Ricardo Sanchez has listeners who refer to Trump as “Hitler” for his harsh remarks on illegal immigrants. “’Trump, who has dismissed some Mexican immigrants’ — listen to this — ‘as rapists and criminals, or simply put, as Hitler,’ ” Trump said, reading a portion of the article from a print copy he held up. “Now the Hitler one I’ve never heard of until this morning when I woke up,” he remarked.. “I’m not a fan of Hitler. So now they’ve just added Hitler into it, which is all false, by the way, and they know it.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: KARMA IS COMING FOR ZIMMERMAN

George Zimmerman, the Florida man who shot and killed an unarmed black teen in 2012 but was acquitted of second-degree murder charges, took to social media this week to call President Barack Obama an “ignorant baboon.” Zimmerman made the comment in a series of tweets posted on Wednesday and Thursday while referencing the shooting deaths of two journalists on live television. In one, Zimmerman quoted the president’s remarks on gun violence while also insulting him: Earlier this year, Zimmerman complained that Obama had turned Americans against him, referring specifically to when the president said in 2012, “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”

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