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Boner Preview Candidates September 23rd, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: A SOLUTION FOR PUBLIC DRUNKENNESS

Road construction workers in central India killed a man when they accidentally buried him in a pit while repairing a road, police said Tuesday.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: I GOT A BAG OF M 80S FOR THE BOY

Four-year-old Roman Schell was riding in his father’s car on July 5 when a sack containing explosives blew up in his lap, severely injuring the youngster, according to an affidavit obtained Tuesday by The Topeka Capital-Journal.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: TYHIS SCIENCE STUFF IS OF THE DEVIL

In a speech delivered in 2012, Ben Carson said the big bang theory was part of the “fairy tales” pushed by “high-faluting scientists” as a story of creation.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: I’LL CHARGE HER WITH BEIGN A BONER.

A northern Indiana woman who jumped from her moving car after discovering a spider on her shoulder, leading to a crash that injured her 9-year-old son, likely won’t face charges.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: YER HOGGIN ALL THE NUTELLA WAFFLES

A Burbank man was charged Tuesday with punching a 78-year-old Costco shopper who confronted him about taking too many Nutella waffles from a sample cart, authorities said.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: MOVE THOSE CANCER KIDS OUTTA HERE

The head of the Secret Service apologized for how a group of children suffering from cancer and their families were treated after they said they were pushed out of Lafayette Square on Saturday night.

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Boner Preview Candidate #7: HE KEPT TRYING TO MONKEY WITH THE MONKEY BARS

Christopher Johnson, was arrested after simulating a sex act with a slide

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