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Boner Preview Candidates September 25th, 2015

Boner Preview Candidate #1: HERE’S HOW YOU HAVE A GOOD SHOT AT THE HOTTIES DURING FROG WEEK

A resident adviser at James Madison University has been thrown out of his fraternity after sending letters to freshmen giving them the names and room numbers of all the ‘hotties’ in their dorm.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: Get Me A Mcstack Brother

Ashville, OH — A couple arrested this week for robbing an Ohio bank posted photos to Facebook showing them posing with stacks of cash in the days following the crime, police report

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: Demons… Ya burn ’em out

The Lancaster County District Attorney’s Office says 34-year-old Joshua Witman not only lived at the house with his mom, but he was accused of setting it on fire. When he was questioned, according to the report, he told investigators the reason he did it was because he believed aliens were living inside the walls and that the basement contained a portal for demons.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: CRAPPY KEBOBS

Two kebab shop owners who infected nearly 150 customers after their meals were contaminated with human faeces have been ordered to pay £28,000 in compensation.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: THE SWASTIKA HAS OTHER MEANINGS YOU KNOW

Sam’s Club has apologized after one of its cashiers wore a swastika bracelet to work, according to NJ.com.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: A SOLUTION FOR PUBLIC DRUNKENNESS

Road construction workers in central India killed a man when they accidentally buried him in a pit while repairing a road, police said Tuesday.

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