Cost-Co: A Short Play


This may or may not have happened today.

(Day- INT: warehouse-type shop)

Clerk: Your card?
Customer: Here you go (hands card to clerk).
Clerk: (Having just rang up all my groceries and provided a total) Sir, your card has expired.
Customer: Well, I wasn’t planning on renewing. Can I just pay for this stuff and call it a day?
Clerk: I am afraid not. You need to renew.
Customer: I hadn’t realized my membership had expired or I would never have stopped in. I usually get a reminder in the mail.
Clerk: They probably don’t have your address.
Customer: No. I get your coupons. They know where I live.
Clerk: It won’t let me.
Customer: But you gave me a total and it says here to swipe my card to pay. Why are you trying to bully me into a membership. This feels a little like extortion, sir.
Clerk: Sorry.
Customer: Do I have to renew my membership for you to put all of this stuff away?
Clerk: What do you mean?
Customer: Good day, sir (takes back card and walks away).


(Based on a true story, though some elements have been embellished for dramatic effect).

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