Utah Says, "No Ink on Your Kids"

Parents were appalled when it was announced Rep. Lavar Christensen of Draper proposed a ban on allowing parents or guardians to give consent for their kids to get tattooed. There are three schools of thoughts on this issue: you like this idea, you don’t like this idea or you don’t care. In the words of Woody Allen, “It’s like anything else.”

The ones believing this proposed law is a good idea are the same ones that don’t like the idea of buying a bottle of wine on Sunday. Or maybe they are justifiably concerned that an Ed Hardy, Juggalo or Skrillex tattoo on a 12-year-old is a bad idea, which basically boils it down to one argument: this is why we can’t have nice things. Thank god my folks didn’t let me get that 311 tattoo when I was a junior in high school. There isn’t enough black ink to hide that shame. The latter of these two justifications sounds reasonable, but as many would argue, encroach on a parent’s right to parent as they see fit. In other words, no big government. However, by the “no big government” logic we should be able to buy wine on Sunday.


The camp who oppose parental consent regarding tattooing of minors are masochistic child abusers who read to their children from “The Satanic Verses” and let them eat foods chalked full of glutten. They probably also are the ones who would like to buy wine on Sunday, but can’t because of big government. They most likely believe such legislation is a slippery slope that could lead to other laws like healthier school lunches, mandatory vaccination for measles and mumps and outlawing child beauty pageants.

The third camp, the ones who don’t care, are decent people who mind their own business and don’t give people a hard time or get in other people’s business because they aren’t really affected either way. They are probably Sunday wine drinkers, too. Ya know, people who would love to buy a bottle of wine to enjoy with that rack of lamb they spent all Sunday preparing but can’t because the wine store is closed Sundays.

Therefore, logic dictates we only have two camps of thought on this issue: those who would like to buy wine on Sunday in Utah and those who don’t. This law actually has nothing to do with tattoos on kids. We live in a very odd place, indeed.

For more on this we’ve talked to a leading expert. Watch that video by clicking here.

Also, pictures of bad tattoos here.

Most Viewed

To Top