Boner Candidate #1: KEEP YOUR KIDS SAFE…DON’T LET THEM WATCH FOX FRIENDS
According to the FBI, the first two things your kids should attempt in any active shooting situation are 1) run or, if that’s not possible, 2) hide. According to Fox & Friends, Little Johnny needs to stand his goddamn ground. In a segment earlier today, Elizabeth Hasselbeck brought on two martial arts instructors who have apparently been busy teaching children the art of running at active shooters. But as Media Matters points out, never once does anyone explain that staying to fight should be an absolute last resort. Hesselbeck starts by noting that “in an active shooter situation, five seconds can mean the difference between life and death. But there are some things you can do and your children can do to make a difference.”
Boner Candidate #2: A NEVADA ASSEMBLYWOMAN WHO IS NOT AFRAID TO TAKE ACTION.
Tea Party Republican and Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, a lunatic,made headlines last week when she sent out her family’s gun-themed Christmas card. Audio from a newly surfaced radio segment shows Fiore admitting that she would like to use those guns to shoot Syrian refugees “in the head.” During the November 21 episode of her weekly Las Vegas radio show, Walk the Talk with Michele Fiore, the assemblywoman said plainly that she did not sign onto a statement from Republican assemblymen opposing Syrian refugees settling in Nevada because she would rather murder them herself. “What—are you kidding me? I’m about to fly to Paris and shoot ‘em in the head myself!” she claimed, per Talking Points Memo. “I am not OK with Syrian refugees. I’m not OK with terrorists. I’m OK with putting them down, blacking them out, just put a piece of brass in their ocular cavity and end their miserable life. I’m good with that.”
Boner Candidate #3: SUBTLE
The caretaker at a Philadelphia mosque said he found a severed pig’s head outside on the sidewalk, and police were investigating whether someone may have thrown it out a car window. The caretaker told police he found the head near the door of the Al Aqsa Islamic Society when he arrived around 6 a.m. Monday. Police said surveillance video shows a red pickup slowing down in front of the mosque on Sunday night. The truck then circles the block and someone throws an object from the passenger window as it passes a second time. The Quran, the holy book of Islam, prohibits Muslims from eating pork, and pigs have been used to taunt or offend Muslims. Last year, attackers in Greece placed a severed pig’s head and painted anti-Muslim slogans outside an Islamic studies center in Athens.
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