Boner Candidate #1: POPPED ME A COLD ONE AND THEY GOT ME.
Drinking a cold one in traffic rarely ends well. It’s especially true when the car in the next lane is labeled “Orlando Police Department.” That’s how Edgar Cortes found himself in jail shortly before noon Saturday on charges of driving with an open container, carrying a concealed firearm and armed possession of pot with intend to sell, court records show. “As I passed the vehicle…I observed the driver drink from a bottle that appeared to resemble that of an alcoholic beverage,” Officer Jose Sanchez wrote. “The bottle’s content appeared to be dark yellow in color, reasonably appearing to me to be the color of beer.” It turned out to be Corona Extra, a pale lager brewed in Mexico, records show. “Initially Cortes did not want to pass my patrol vehicle and wanted to stay behind avoiding a traffic stop,” the arrest report states. “I knew he was doing this because he reduced his speed to almost a complete stop in the roadway.”
Boner Candidate #2: PLANNED PARENTHOOD IS TO BLAME
On Monday, in a statement provided to The Colorado Independent, Colorado state representative JoAnn Windholz blamed Planned Parenthood for the deadly shooting that left three dead and nine injured at its Colorado Springs clinic last week. “Violence is never the answer, but we must start pointing out who is the real culprit,” her statement to the Independent reads. “The true instigator of this violence and all violence at any Planned Parenthood facility is Planned Parenthood themselves. Violence begets violence. So Planned Parenthood: YOU STOP THE VIOLENCE INSIDE YOUR WALLS.” “Planned Parenthood has no shame,” Windholz, a Republican from Denver, said. “These facts and overall mission of the abortion industry would easily send anyone over the hill who wasn’t rational.”
Boner Candidate #3: THE WORST OF THE WORST
Two Pontiac men are in custody and facing charges in an assault and robbery of a man who is handicapped which they videotaped on the victim’s cellular phone and posted on Facebook. Oakland County Sheriff’s Deputies responded to a possible assault at the Phoenix Place Apartments at 8:30 a.m. Sunday. Deputies found a bleeding, badly beaten man lying in the hallway in front of his apartment. The 23-year-old victim, who has cerebral palsy, told deputies two men stole his cellphone and when he followed them in the building they beat him in a stairway, punching him in the head and kicking and spitting on him. The pair filmed the assault and posted the video on the victim’s Facebook page as well as their own personal pages.
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