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Boner Candidates for February 24, 2015

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Boner Candidate #1: SIR HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LOOKED AT A WOMAN? BEEN WITH A WOMAN? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT GOES ON DOWN THERE?

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Image By ndbutter

An Idaho lawmaker received a brief lesson on female anatomy after asking if a woman can swallow a small camera for doctors to conduct a remote gynecological exam. The question Monday from Republican state Rep. Vito Barbieri came as the House State Affairs Committee heard nearly three hours of testimony on a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine. Barbieri later said that the question was rhetorical and intended to make a point. Dr. Julie Madsen, a physician who said she has provided various telemedicine services in Idaho, was testifying in opposition to the bill. She said some colonoscopy patients may swallow a small device to give doctors a closer look at parts of their colon. “Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?” Barbieri asked. Madsen replied that would be impossible because swallowed pills do not end up in the vagina. “Fascinating. That makes sense,” Barbieri said, amid the crowd’s laughter. The committee approved the bill 13-4 on a party-line vote, where it now goes to the House floor for a full vote. Barbieri, who sits on the board of a crisis pregnancy center in northern Idaho, voted in favor of the legislation.

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Boner Candidate #2: THEY WILL LET ANYONE ON TV

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Image By Paul Vera-Broadbent

Ohio Fox News anchor Kristi Capel didn’t know Lady Gaga had a “gorgeous voice,” but as we learn in a recent Fox 8 brief, that’s hardly the most damaging thing that Capel doesn’t know. While recapping the Oscars, Capel showed a clip from Lady Gaga’s Sound of Music medley performance and explained that she’s used to a different kind of Gaga performance.  The awestruck anchor commented: “It’s hard to really hear her voice with all the jigaboo music — whatever you want to call it — jigaboo!”

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Boner Candidate #3: THE CONGRESSMAN LOVES DOWNTON ABBEY AND KATY PERRY

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Image By House GOP

Aaron Schock, GOP boy wonder, might soon have some problems that are much larger than office decorations or, uh, that other stuff. According to a new AP report, the Illinois representative used over $75,000 in campaign donor funds since 2011 for private air travel, several concerts—including a Katy Perry show—and, because Congressmen work very hard, massages. According to Gillum and Braun, a Schock PAC called “GOP Generation Y” (young people love PACs) has billed itself over $24,000 in the last four-plus years for various concerts, including: $13,000 for various country music events, $4,700 to a ticket brokerage called SitClose.com, $3,000 to the organization that put on the Global Citizen Festival (headlined by Jay Z) and $1,928 to Stubhub, which the AP connects to a Katy Perry concert in Washington from last summer. Do you think Aaron Schock enjoys Katy Perry? I bet he does. Aside from entertainment—and $1,400 sent to a massage parlor last October—the AP alleges that Schock spent at least $40,000 of his donors’ money on private airfare.

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