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Boner Candidates for March 23, 2015

Boner Candidate #1: MY BABY IS JUST SO CUTE

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Image by Jeff Snodgrass

Cops say an Oregon woman who struck three teens in a crosswalk with her car was distracted because she was taking a video of her baby while behind the wheel. Elizabeth Rachel Dove, 23, faces third-degree assault, recklessly endangering and reckless driving in the Jan. 15 crash. Three teenage girls, all students at Centennial High School in Gresham, were injured in the crash. Phone records outlined in court documents show that Dove was talking on the phone, texting and driving in the minutes immediately preceding the crash. Video recovered from her phone shows a clip of her infant son in the front passenger seat, which investigators determined that Dove hit the teenagers 1.42 seconds after the video ended. When the teenagers entered the crosswalk, Dove “appears to have had no hands on the steering wheel,” documents said. Police said the driver was not under the influence of alcohol or drugs at the time.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE ARE TRYING TO PRESERVE HISTORY

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Image By Cyrus Farivar

The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday takes up a free speech case on whether Texas was wrong in rejecting a specialty vehicle license plate displaying the Confederate flag – to some an emblem of Southern pride and to others a symbol of racism. The nine justices will hear a one-hour oral argument in a case that raises the issue of how states can allow or reject politically divisive messages on license plates without violating free speech rights. States can generate revenue by allowing outside groups to propose specialty license plates that people then pay a fee to put on their vehicle. The group Sons of Confederate Veterans says its aim is to preserve the “history and legacy” of soldiers who fought for the pro-slavery Confederacy in the U.S. Civil War. Its proposed design featured a Confederate battle flag surrounded by the words “Sons of Confederate Veterans 1896.” The flag is a blue cross inlaid with white stars over a red background. The group’s Texas chapter said its members’ free speech rights were violated when the state rejected the plate. Several other states have approved similar plates. When Texas rejected the proposal in 2010, the state said it had received public comments that suggested “many members of the general public find the design offensive” in large part due to the Confederacy being synonymous with the institution of slavery. A black Texas Democratic state senator, Royce West, said in 2011, “Ill-intended or not, why would African Americans want to be reminded of a legalized system of involuntary servitude, dehumanization, rape and mass murder?”

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Boner Candidate #3: THE ABORTION HAWK

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Image By Ellen and Tony

A civics lesson took an unexpected turn for a group of New Hampshire fourth-graders when a lawmaker brought the abortion debate into their effort to name a state raptor. The students from Lincoln H. Akerman School in Hampton Falls worked during class and on their own time to craft a bill to make the red-tailed hawk the official state raptor. They got a sponsor for it, got the bill through a House of Representatives committee and then watched from the House gallery last week to see if it would pass. Rep. Warren Groen, a Republican from Rochester, rose to speak on the measure, which was defeated. “It grasps them with its talons and then uses its razor-sharp beak to rip its victims to shreds, to basically tear it apart limb by limb, and I guess the shame about making this a state bird is it would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood,” Groen said. Principal Mark Deblois said Thursday that he has heard from parents whose kids asked what Planned Parenthood is and why it was invoked in a discussion about hawks. “None of the kids got those (abortion) references,” he said. “Fortunately they didn’t, because it’s such a disgusting reference. But certainly that led to questions about what did that mean.”

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Feature Image By Pierre J.

 

 


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